


WHY.

by nyoungboi



Category: GOT7
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, BDSM, Bondage, Emotional Baggage, Kinbaku, Kinks, M/M, Masturbation, Neighbors, Psychological Drama, Sex Toys, Shibari, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-22
Updated: 2018-09-10
Packaged: 2019-05-10 03:11:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 32,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14728859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nyoungboi/pseuds/nyoungboi
Summary: Everything in Mark's life is boring. It's plain. There's nothing special. It's a routine. Well that is until he meets Jaebum and the secrets he keeps behind his apartment door.[pls read notes* before reading]





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> EDIT: so i initially drafted for 15 chapters but then i redid some of my old drafts and thought that i could combine it all into a singular rather than stretching it out so...   
> yeah the amount of chapters will be less but that means more shit going on every chapter YAAAAAY

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello!! this is my first got7 fic and im a big sucker for markbum ><
> 
> title is inspired by ofc the markbum anthem of my life, why in their japanese album turn up 
> 
> its lowkey inspired by the manga nana to kaoru, which is basically a story of two neighbours, nana and kaoru, doing bdsm and mostly practicing shibari for nana to relieve stress.
> 
> also basic background, shibari is japanese rope bondage which is considered an art and has a lot of bdsm influences in western culture. theres also many books about it if ur interested in it and a great influencer in shibari is Master K, teaching like loads of ppl about shibari
> 
> its a really cool to read some of his stuff and i like it bc there is an emotional depth to it 
> 
> so yeah, go on with the story, its gonna be a hell of a ride so pls bear with me ><;; thanks !!

_ Silence.  _ __  
__  
_ Silence had filled the room. Silence had muted them. Their gaze to each other was intense. No words had been said to one another but their gaze to each other said everything.  _ __  
__  
_ Heartbeat.  _ __  
__  
_ The two men's heartbeat banged in their chests. Separate individuals yet their hearts beat as one. The silence between them was deafening but if one heard their hearts it would be like banging drums on new year's day.  _ __  
__  
__ Mark closed his eyes for a single moment before it would vanish.   


 

* * *

  
  
RING.   
  
RING.   
  
RING.   
  
Mark lazily hit his phone alarm on snooze before he could properly dismiss it. His slowly opened his eyes to the dusk sky then covered his face again trying to make himself believe it was still night. But his usual six am alarm would disagree. Mark reached out to his bedside table and this time sat up to properly dismiss his alarm. He checked his phone before actually doing anything. While he was checking his unseen messages from his friends, he licked his chapped lips. His dry throat itched for a glass of water then reached for his bottle he always had with him during the night if ever he woke up suddenly for a drink. It was handy to have it around so Mark wouldn’t have to get up in the middle of the night for water. He clicked some Tasty video one of his cousins had shared on Facebook as he wiped his eyes from the dirt that developed through his sleep. Mark absent-mindedly snapped his neck while he continued to watch the video. He twisted his back left and right and was ultimately satisfied when he heard his spine pop. After his usual morning ceremony he kicked his blanket off his body and groggily got up his bed. He made his way to his apartment kitchen. He turned on the water heater as he waited the water to boil, Mark rummaged through his fridge to find something to eat. He found some leftover fruit from yesterday and decided to have it with some oatmeal. When the water had finally reached to a boil he made himself a cup of his finest instant coffee.    
  
Mark sat quietly on his kitchen counter as he ate his breakfast. He blankly stared at nothing realizing how quiet his morning is and how it has always been. He slowly looked down to his oatmeal and sighed to himself. He stirred his plain oatmeal solemnly as Mark felt lethargic of his usual routine. He lived the same life, the same routine and probably had the same breakfast from yesterday. Mark stopped and tried to backtrack his yesterday morning and remembered, yes he did have the same fucking steel cut oatmeal he had had for the past few weeks. Mark lost his appetite for his breakfast but it was a waste to throw it away. He cursed his practicality, why did he have to be such a boring functional human being. He grumbled to himself placing his oatmeal in the fridge, he would probably have to eat it later tonight.    
  
Mark's apartment doorbell rang that made Mark jump a little. He reached to the front door of his apartment and groaned as he opened it. Standing by the door was his usual carpool and best friend, Jae. "You're here early," Mark said as he welcomed Jae to his flat. "I figured why not. Us old folks hate being late for work," Jae teased. "29 is not old. You make it sound like I'm 70," Mark retaliated as Jae made himself comfortable on Mark's pearl white sofa in from of his LED flat screen TV. "29 is basically 30 in the Lunar Calendar and that's like 20 years til you lived half a century," Jae placed his feet on Mark's coffee table but Mark pushed them off before his dirty shoes could get on anything. Mark rolled his eyes to his friend but he wasn't 30. Well not yet. Mark was never conscious about his age but Jae was basically trying to tell him that was almost 30 years of doing nothing worth while. He had never travelled out of the States, he did had a minor in Linguistics and had nothing to show for it. He didn't know how to drive a car. He had been stuck at the same dead end job for almost 7 years. Mark was known to never take risks in his life. He was always... safe as his parents would call him. His life was stable. His life sucked. Everything was just a routine Mark had to accomplish and he knew he had to do the same thing over and over maybe until he died.    
  
As Mark fixed his usual getup for work, a corporate suit for his boring corporate job. He worked finance in a entertainment conglomerate which was the big kicker when he would tell people he was working for such a big company in entertainment, they would ask if Mark knew any celebrity or had big connections but of course Mark woulsay no, he was just stuck doing the office work like an everyman not really doing anything big in his life. Jae worked at the same company yet their departments were different. Mark worked like a pig doing excel sheets while Jae worked in PR where he had more opportunities to get out more and of course Jae had met more celebrities that Mark could meet in his lifetime. Jae had suggested switching departments but if Mark worked the same job with no pay raises or promotions how the hell was he supposed to switch departments just like that. Mark adjusted his tie and slapped Jae at the back of his head to signal them to get going. Mark locked his apartment doors with forlorn in his face and went on with his usual routine.    
  
Mark's job wasn't the most exciting but it had to do. Mark didn't complain as the pay was good too. He had just felt like he had better things to do and this job wasn't one of them. His supervisor had called him and his colleagues for their usual meeting and discussed their finances and other shit they handled. Before the meeting came to an end, Mark's supervisor had another announcement. "...As we all know we have many other different branches and partners from all over the world," Mark's attention was suddenly caught, "And many of the partners' have decided to open their doors and welcome us to their foreign affairs department. So the board had decided to open this up to all departments, especially ours," She said. One of Mark's younger colleagues raised their hand for a question. "Wait, so is this open for all?" Mark had the same thoughts, as he was just as intrigued by the offer. "Well, yes. Applicants are highly encouraged but the board will ultimately decide who gets to go," Mark's supervisor answered. "But where do they go?" Another one of Mark's colleagues asked. "It depends on your qualifications as our partners come from all over the world from China to even Europe," Mark's ears perked, his heart started to beat faster of the thought of going to another country. He hid his excitement as his colleagues continued to asked question that made his excitement grow. As they were dismissed, Mark knew he had to at least apply to give him a chance to go. He grabbed a form by his supervisor's office without saying a word and as if his boss would even notice his presence at all.    
  
Mark sat at the office's cafeteria as he scanned the application form for his transfer. Jae spotted Mark and peeked behind his back to see what Mark was so giddy about. Jae's eyes grew when he saw what it was for and grabbed it out of Mark's hands, "Dude! You're actually gonna apply for this?!" Mark fought back for it and hope he didn't crumple the form too much.

 

"What about it."   
  
"Bro. Don't you know almost everyone in every department is gonna apply for this bullshit."   
  
"Your point?"   
  
"You got a hefty lot of competition, man."

  
"Jae, please. We all know those applying are just people in their first year of work and cocky fresh college graduates."   
  
"But qualified cocky fresh college graduates!"    
  
"I've done my fair share with those little shits, they ask for a higher pay before actually getting the job what makes you think they won't do it for this. Companies find it too expensive to keep hiring those kinds of cucks. Plus I'm qualified! 7 years plus a minor in Linguistics. Your homeboy knows at least five languages!" Mark confidently pointed out.    
  
"Latin does not count. It's a dead language for a reason."   
  
"Ugh. Fine, four but that doesn't erase my Columbia degree!"    
  
"Ok fine. Let's say you do get the job, do you even know what you're supposed to do?"   
  
"I'm not dumb Jae, I did my research. I basically have to do whatever I did here but work on a global scale."   
  
"Benefits, if there is any?"   
  
"For one they offer global equity and bonds, a solid health insurance that covers almost 40 countries and live-in provisions and stay."   
  
"Wow, that actually sounds pretty good. Where did you say you got that form?" Mark smacked Jae with his application forms as Jae mocked him.   
  
"So now you're interested?"   
  
"Maybe a little," Jae winked and Marked proceeded to hit him again with his forms. "Alright, alright! I was joking! It's not like my chances are higher than any of yours!" Mark pouted. "That's not what I meant," Jae reassured his best friend, "You're  just a qualified as those prissy kids applying. But what will I do without my best friend?" Jae slumped to his seat.   
  
"Suffer," Mark harshly said. Jae was taken aback and held his chest in shock. "I'm kidding! Besides, the internet is magical. We'll survive. Plus, I don't know why but this," Mark gripped his forms tighter, "is something I can't miss." Mark showed off his toothy grin.    
  
"Gosh darn it, why are you so cute when you're passionate," Jae sighed as he cupped his small best friend's cheeks, he proceeded play with said cheeks.    


 

* * *

  
_ Mark always held in his voice when they were together. Yet the feeling was too good to be true. Now his touch against Mark wasn't to bind or to hold him back.  _ __  
__  
_ Mark waited for this moment. Mark wanted this moment for so long.  _ __  
__  
__ Has he waited as long as Mark has? Did he want it as much as Mark did?   


 

* * *

  
  
Mark couldn't believe. He just couldn't fucking believe it. After weeks of waiting, his application for transfer had been accepted and Jae couldn't be happier when Mark told him he was transferred to Korea. Jae gave Mark a big send off before he left and felt jitters in his stomach as he landed in Korea. Mark felt his heart rise when he saw his name written down from his chauffeur to drop him off his new apartment.   
  
He was thankful that he was given his own apartment by his company though it was smaller than his LA apartment. The company furnished this apartment nicely though it was simpler than his old apartment, He remembers his sleek white 3-seater sofa, his large LED flatscreen and a kitchen of his white granite countertops with matching stainless steel appliances to fit Mark's white elegant aesthetic he had going in his apartment. Now his 3-seater sofa was just a plain brown leather loveseat with a matching chair by its side. His LED flatscreen TV became a standard flatscreen with no 4K streaming or 3D effects his old TV had. His white granite countertops where now plain white tile spread across. He couldn't compare his stainless steel appliances to some of his new ones. Mark wasn't picky. The apartment was furnished well enough and it wasn't that shabby. Mark had what he needed. It wasn't his LA apartment, but everything he had back in his LA apartment couldn't compare to one thing his Gangnam apartment had that his LA apartment didn't. A veranda. Mark slowly stepped out to the veranda and saw the day cityscape. In the veranda, Mark saw empty plant boxes and wire, behind the laundry hanger, perfect for vertical gardening.    
  
Mark had a free day off work to settle into his apartment so he decided to use this day wisely. Mark headed to the supermarket to fill in his fridge and hopefully find things to help with his stay. The supermarket wasn't much different from his usual LA style grocers. He grabbed what he needed and even bought houseplants for his new aspiring garden. Mark had a difficult time carrying everything he bought from the market as he merely commuted and he didn't know how to drive to begin with. He was stuck carrying heavy loads of items as the people stared and pitied the foreigner. He was glad that the train wasn't crowded and was thankful to the ladies that helped him carry some of his bags out. Mark finally reached his apartment complex, he heaved the grocery bags until someone took one of the bags out of Mark's hands. "I got it," A low deep voice sang into Mark's ears, as the man pushed the lobby's doors open for them. The man followed Mark with some of his groceries at hand pressed the elevator button going up. Mark took a good look at the man, noticing his broad shoulders, his dark mussed up hair and two identical beauty marks that sat perfectly on one of his monolid eyes. The elevator dinged open and the man picked up some of grocery bags Mark settled down as they waited for the elevator. "C'mon," The man simply said and Mark obediently followed.    
  
"If you could just press se-" The man pressed seven, the same floor Mark's apartment, before Mark could even finish his sentence.    
  
"Shit, sorry, what floor are you?" The man cursed to himself before he looked back at Mark.    
  
"It's fine, I'm at the same floor," Mark shyly said to the man and kindly smiled back. That made Mark fidgety in his place. The elevator screen flashed seven and after a second's delay, the doors open to the apartment hallways. The man helped Mark out of the elevator as he carried some of his groceries. "You can leave it here," Mark told the man, "I can carry it myself."    
  
"It's no problem, I'll help you," The man imposed and gripped the groceries tighter then signalled Mark to lead the way. Mark shivered by the sound of his voice and gulped before moving. He saw the man's cool lazy gaze back at Mark which made him a bit more nervous than before. They reached to Mark's apartment door, the man's eyes drifted around and looked at his nearby neighbour's door. Mark nervously unlocked his door and halted the man from moving any further.    
  
"I can handle it myself," Mark grabbed his groceries out of the man's hands. "Thanks but I think I'm good until here."    
  
"Nah, it's fine I'll help you put in your groceries, it's no trouble," Before Mark could attest again, the man grabbed the groceries back and welcomed himself into Mark's apartment. "I'll just put it on the counter," the man voiced from inside. When they had brought in all the groceries, Mark repeatedly apologized to the man if he had caused any trouble even though the man reassured him that he didn't. Mark forgot to catch the man's name and he wasn't good with matching names with faces. Mark settled in, slumped back on his couch and stared at the kitchen with bags of groceries seeping out of the small area. Mark saw one of his plants bending down which was probably caused from him moving around with so many bags at hand. Mark took the plant out of its plastic bag and headed outside to place in his new empty plant box. He ripped the black plastic that wrapped around the plant. He evenly spread the soil in the pot but it wasn't enough to fill the pot, Mark headed back inside to find the fertilizer he bought for his new plants. He carried the bag out and crouched back down to the pot. As the fertilizer reach two-thirds of the pot, Mark patted down and noticed two small heads watching him. Mark's veranda was his new neighbours veranda which was a bit closer than Mark had thought. It was probably some architectural mishap that cause the two balconies to be so close.    
  
He noticed the two heads were cat heads. Their eyes quietly followed Mark and tried shooing them away. His neighbour's veranda door opened to see an ever so familiar face. It was the man that helped him. The man didn't seem to look surprised to see Mark but was more freaked out by Mark's crouched position that greeted him. "Long time no see," Mark jokingly said. Though it was a terrible joke it was good enough to earn a few laughs from the man.    
  
"I didn't want to say anything, but all of this...is just some freaky coincidence," The man reassuring Mark he wasn't like a crazy weirdo and pulled out a cigarette from the pack. "Im Jaebum," he told Mark as he placed the cigarette between his lips before actually lighting it.   
  
"Pardon?" Mark titled his head to the man.    
  
"My name is Im Jaebum," he repeated to his foreign neighbour then lighted the stick between his lips.    
  
"Oh! I'm Mark Tuan, nice to meet you," Mark jerked his body to stand up and politely greet the man.    
  
"You're not from around here, I bet."   
  
"Oh. Yeah! I'm from LA. I moved for work, y'know that business," Jaebum only nodded. "But I am Chinese! I mean I know Chinese, like Mandarin... I'm Taiwanese, actually but I don't know why I said that..." Mark mentally slapped himself.    
  
"That's cool. Where did you learn Korean?"    
  
"Well at first, my best friend and his mom taught me then I took more formal lessons afterwards."    
  
"Ah. I see," Jaebum blew smoke and tapped the ashes on the small tray on top of his rusting metal table, that came standard with every apartment with a balcony Mark assumed because he had the same table with a matching metal chair. "Well I hope you enjoy your stay," Jaebum smiled to Mark, that caused the man to shuddered again. Mark couldn't explain what made Jaebum's voice so intoxicating and so... dominating. The doorbell rang from Jaebum's side. They, meaning Mark, felt that it interrupted their moment and Jaebum went back inside to check who it was. Mark didn't mean to eavesdrop but Jaebum left his veranda door open which allowed Mark to hear his guest's voice.    
  
"Oppa!" The a seductive female voice called Jaebum. "Did you miss me?" She giggled, probably wrapping her arms around her host. Mark leaned as he tried to listen in to whatever Jaebum was going to say but alas, he could not. He had might've just whispered into the woman's ear, telling her he had missed her back. Mark heard the woman's giggle as she lightly tapped Jaebum's chest, feeling up to his toned body. Or at least that's what had Mark had imagined but not like Mark was thinking about Jaebum's body, no not like that! "Fine, let's just skip all the talk. Let's just head to the bedroom," the woman giggled. Oh. That was their relationship, Mark felt his heart sink a little bit. Who was he kidding? Of course a guy like Jaebum had a girlfriend. Mark slumped back to the wire frame that hung by his veranda wall. Which was a bad idea, the wire had some loose edges and pricked Mark's butt that caused him to jump back in pain.    


"Ack, shit!" Mark yelped in pain.

  
"Are you alright," Jaebum's voice warmed, it's as if it could melt chocolate. Jaebum came back out,  perfectly timed to Mark's cry. Mark quickly nodded his head, Jaebum quirked him a smile, "that's good. I'm heading back inside. You'll be fine out here right?"    
  
"Yeah, I'll be totally fine. You got a guest?" Mark peeked over to Jaebum's apartment.    
  
"Oh yeah. She comes over a lot. I have to go and… entertain her," Jaebum awkwardly phrased it. In Mark's head, he screamed  _ Oh my god. That's his fucking girlfriend isn't it. _ _They're totally gonna have sex, aren't they?!_ As he absentmindedly nodded his head with Jaebum. "Well, I'll be the first to welcome you to Korea. Welcome," Jaebum said his adieu and slowly closed his veranda door. Like that the whole cityscape became quiet as the sun began to set and for some reason, Mark didn't feel the hustle and bustle of the city. Mark kept looking over to Jaebum's veranda, in hopes of seeing the man again. But then again he was probably too busy " _ entertaining _ " his guest.   
  


Mark’s stomach churned in discontent. His mind had been going off to Jaebum with his girlfriend. Mark would find himself up at 2 am, staring at his veranda. He called himself crazy for minorly obsessing over a guy he barely met in a country he has barely been in. Mark wasn’t here to get his dick wet neither was this a vacation. Work had to be his major priority and going off and lusting over his neighbour wasn’t the plan. Mark rubbed his tired face as he tried to get a grip of himself. He slapped himself a couple of times before heading off to bed. Mark had work tomorrow. 

 

It was so fucking annoying. Though Mark had adjusted well with his jetlag, he felt like he hadn’t gotten a wink of sleep. He blames himself for staying up at 2 am. Like instinct, Mark performed his usual morning routine, coffee, breakfast, wash the dishes, get ready for work and wait for Jae to pick him up. He stopped his routine to realize Jae wasn’t going to pick him up from his apartment. He groaned loudly, he googled how to commute to his new office via train or bus and found that he would get faster by train. He was lucky he already bought a train card yesterday while he was getting his groceries, saving him a little bit less trouble. 

 

Mark was ready for work as he adjusted his plaid brown tie his mother got him. Mark packed his bag and reached for the fridge for an apple. He spotted his leftover oatmeal on the counter and quickly placed in the fridge. His eyes moved back to the veranda and heart slowed. Mark pressed his lips into a thin line and grabbed his watering can to water his new plants. Mark wasn’t thinking of anything else or anyone for that matter but his for his plants. Mark stepped out and smoke breezed out of Jaebum’s mouth. He was smoking this early in the morning, Mark thought. He had also noticed a drabby suit and tie that looked as corporate as Mark’s. It was probably for work, Mark shrugged and continued to water his plant. “Morning, neighbour,” Jaebum spoke that broke their silence. 

 

“Oh! didn’t see you there!” Mark lied. Jaebum scanned Mark’s attire and snorted in a small fit of laughter. 

 

“I see you’re heading to work. First day, right?” Jaebum quirked his one of his eyebrows to Mark’s crouched figure. “Good luck,” He followed after. 

 

“Thanks! I just hope I don’t fuck up or anything,” Mark awkwardly laughed to himself.

 

“You won’t,” Jaebum supportively smiled back to his foreign neighbour which Mark felt his heart about to burst in happiness. Mark coughed and quickly stuttered out a goodbye, awkwardly leaving the scene before heading off to work. Jaebum laughed at his neighbour’s actions, thinking he was a bit cute thereafter shaking those thoughts away. 

 

Mark’s introduction was pretty short. He felt a little underwhelmed well because before that he almost missed his train stop due to his mind wandering off to Jaebum’s goodbye, he ran out of the station, wazed his way to his new office building. Climbed four more flights of stairs after the elevator gave out and refused to go any higher. Mark had made it just in time before being officially a minute late to work. Back in LA, Mark was known to be the most punctual worker that he always influenced Jae to be punctual as well. It was a habit he had developed and he wasn’t just gonna stop it. Mark entered his new supervisor’s office and they went straight to formalities. 

 

After his introduction, Mark’s supervisor pointed him to one of his new colleagues that was a little bit too eager to show him around. “Hey Mark! I’m Jackson! Jackson Wang! I’m really excited to meetcha! I heard you’re from LA branch, I’m from Hong Kong branch, excited to work with you!” Jackson rapped in english. Mark’s head spun and had forgotten how to comprehend english for one second before understanding what Jackson had said to him. 

 

“Hi, Jackson. I hope...we get along?” Mark laughed shaking Jackson’s hand. 

 

“Dude, I know we were totally gonna get along. C’mon I’ll show you around!” Jackson lead the way to Mark’s new desk which was directly across from Jackson’s. “Dude! Our desks are like so close from each other! Is this like destiny telling us to be best friends?” Jackson exaggeratedly gasped. Mark simply laughed at the eccentric man and thought he was pretty cool. Jackson pointed out every department and said hi to almost everyone they passed. Mark was a bit confused at first as he learned that this branch was the bigger than the LA branch, he used to work in. There were more departments and had a lot of in-house artists and producers. Jackson gave Mark the simple ins and outs of office hierarchy and a snippet of office gossip while they were at it. Once they were comfortable they headed back to their desks and started one of many days of work. Mark was absorbed with his work but just as the clock hit noon. Jackson poked his head out the side of Mark’s computer, “I’m hungry, wanna eat lunch?” Jackson promptly asked. Mark swiftly glanced to Jackson and back to his computer just to save an excel file he had been working on. 

 

“Sure, why not,” Mark agreed to Jackson’s kind offer. Jackson fisted to the air, a “hell yeah” before grabbing his jacket and leading Mark to the cafeteria. Mark was unfamiliar with the place so Jackson told Mark to sit and watch his usual place he had with his friends as he got them their food. Mark quietly waited, observing his surroundings. A metal tray banged down to the table and Mark was greeted with a cold icy glare from another worker. Mark wasn’t sure how to act and was frazzled by the man. “Uh… um…” Mark couldn’t find the words to say and just became a bumbling mess. 

 

“Mark?” 

 

“MARK!” 

 

Two different voices called for him that came from the opposite direction. He twisted his head to both directions and saw Jackson carrying two trays for himself and fo Mark. Then he saw an ever so familiar face that so happens to live across him. “Mark!” Jackson yelled again and Mark broke his gaze with Jaebum to stand up and help Jackson with the trays. “Oh thanks! Hey, you met my friends!” Jackson pointed out in english. Mark turned to the man who gave him fierce glares and Jaebum who had sat his tray of food down the table. “That’s Jinyoung, he’s kinda protective of our table. He’s actually pretty cute when you get know him,” Jackson introduced his friends in english, “That’s Jaebum, he’s cool.” Jackson sat down and gestured everyone to join him. 

 

“It’s Jaebum HYUNG to you,” Jaebum bit back to Jackson, reminding him for the umpteeth time. 

 

“How are you a hyung?! You’re like two months older than me!” Jackson argued.

 

“I told you that’s not how it works…” 

 

“Just let him be, hyung. You know how Jackson is,” Jinyoung scrunched his face in judgement.

 

“What is that supposed to mean?!” Jackson quickly reacted. Jinyoung simply ignored the other as Jackson kept asking for a explanation. Jackson finally let go off the topic and turned to Mark “So, how about you Mark? How old are you?” Jackson spoke to him in Korean breaking their english only interactions. “Oh by the way, that’s Mark Tuan, my new BFF,” Jackson quickly said before letting Mark speak.

 

“Oh hello,” Mark awkwardly waved to everyone by the table. “You want to know my age, Jackson uh ssi?” Jaebum leaned in closer seeming genuinely interested in Mark’s age. In panic, Mark fidgetted and almost forgot what to say.

 

“Mark ssi? How old ARE you?” Jinyoung, for the first time, looked at him with innocent interest in the American. 

 

“Me?! Well uh I’m 29. Or 30 in Korea? If that’s right,”  Mark scratched his head in minor confusion. He was still jumbled up with Korean age calculator thing they had. Mark looked up and saw the shock in their eyes when they heard his age. 

 

“Woah, Mark, er- hyung. I legit thought you were my age? Maybe a little bit older, sure. Younger I wouldn’t put it past me. But I never thought you were five years older than me?!” Jackson exclaimed. 

 

“It’s amazing how he looks so young, maybe it’s because of his small face,” Jinyoung mumbled to himself.

 

Mark snorted, he hadn’t expected this outcome. A lot of people back in LA used to think he was younger that he actually looked. He used to roll his eyes at those comments but seeing this now, it kinda made him feel kinda good about himself? “I guess it’s an agreement we should all call you hyung then,” Jaebum gave Mark a cheeky smile that may or may not have made Mark’s cheek flush a little. 

 

His first day of work ended and he was finally going home. He waited for the elevator to come down to his floor, which thankfully maintenance fixed the elevator’s earlier problem, the doors dinged open and Jaebum alone was in the elevator. His neighbour was absorbed to his phone and wore his earphones to block minor interferences. Mark didn’t call Jaebum’s attention and decided to let him be. Mark stood in front of Jaebum, having a 50/50 chance that his neighbour might notice his existence. The elevator door once again opened to another floor and people flooded into the small space hoping to get home. Mark stepped back to allow more people to enter but in the process he had stepped on Jaebum’s foot. The man looked up and saw the American’s back moving beside him. They pretended not to notice each other but Mark couldn’t help but notice the back of their hands brushed against one another. Mark felt his cheeks blush red and a slight growth in happiness. They finally reached the ground floor and the flood of people loosened as they exited the confined space. Jaebum tapped Mark’s shoulder and the older spotted his neighbour behind him. Jaebum took off his earphones and shoved his phone into his pockets. “Hyung, are you heading home?” Jaebum’s voice smoothed over. Mark swallowed his breath before he could answer. 

 

“Uh, yeah. How about you? Do you have any plans?” 

 

“Not really, I’m just planning to head straight home,” to his girlfriend, Mark thought. She had slipped Mark’s mind this morning as he focused only on Jaebum. Mark had only remembered during lunch time when Jackson and Jinyoung interrogated him with questions. They had asked if he had any past relationships and he told them he had been single for almost five years now. His eyes shifted to Jaebum’s uncaring figure and remembered he was in a relationship. Mark presently sighed. “Tired?” Jaebum noticed the exasperated elder’s melancholic sigh.

 

“Huh? Oh yeah. Long day.”

 

“The days only get longer,” Jaebum joked.

 

“It’s true when you’re older…” Mark sighed again. 

 

“Right, I forgot that you were older than me. I never expected you to be older.”

 

“No one does. But I’m glad I still look young when I have 20 years till I lived half a century.... As my friend used to say. It sounds like I got a lot of time but trust me when you’re my age, it’s a fucking mess.”

 

“Ah. So do you take the train or the bus?” 

 

“I took the train this morning but I haven’t tried riding the bus yet,” Mark explained.

 

“Well, I usually take the bus, it’s less crowded and I enjoy the view. I like that dark traffic aesthetic it has going on,” Jaebum scratched the back of his head. Mark joined and commuted on the bus with Jaebum. Mark had to agree that the bus was less crowded and a carview is always beautiful at night no matter the flow of traffic. The two men reached home after passing three bus stops and a short walk to the complex. They didn’t really converse the whole bus ride and the walk was peaceful. Mark wasn’t really a talker and Jaebum liked the silence so there wasn’t much to complain about. They silently rode the elevator up to their floor and finally broke the air and said their  _ goodnight’s _ and ‘ _ see you at work.’ _

 

* * *

 

_ His call to Mark wasn’t out of the ordinary. It had almost been routine for him to call Mark or text him the phrase... _

 

_ I’ll see you soon. _

 

_ It meant something to Mark when he would see that simple phrase it would always spark up something different. Something special.  _

 

* * *

 

Mark had been working for almost two weeks and nothing was different. Nothing special was going on with his life. Mark had felt the spark of moving had faded when he finally settled in and got comfortable. His undeniable yet unnoticed interest still grew but was stale for the moment. Mark only seen Jaebum during lunch and they wouldn’t bump into each at work. They worked separate departments and most of the time Mark would stay overtime finishing up one of his reports. The American had felt he was just living his same boring LA life in Seoul. Jackson invited Mark out to catch a few drinks with Jinyoung but the elder gave his friend a hard pass. Jinyoung came down to their floor to pick up Jackson. The younger looked a bit frustrated when he came down to pick the Chinese man as he gurgled and grumbled to himself with a handful of flashdrives in his palm. “Woah, what with the face, Nyoung,” Jackson threaded lightly in hopes of not upsetting the other. 

 

“Ugh, just some assholes passing their projects to me to give to Jaebum hyung. It’s so annoying, they think I’m like their messenger just because I’m his friend. I’m giving this shit to him tomorrow, who cares if he’s gonna kill half of his department. Their fault not mine,” Jinyoung tiredly said, shoving the flashdrives down his pocket. 

 

“I mean I could give that to Jaebum,” Mark peeked out of his computer though he had chastised people like those, it saved a lot of people a lot trouble if Jaebum had been given those files as soon as possible. “Cuz, like I told you guys this before. We’re neighbours so I can just pop by and give him the flashdrives and everything will be over. You and Jackson can enjoy your drinks,” Mark offered. 

 

“A-are you sure hyung? I don’t want to trouble you…” Jinyoung slowly reached to his pocket yet hesitated to give the flashdrives to Mark. 

 

“Yeah, it’s no problem at all!” Mark perked up. He had no problem with it whatsoever and it was probably just a ruse to talk to Jaebum. 

 

Mark got back to his apartment and knocked on Jaebum’s door. It was unlocked as it pushed itself open from Mark’s knocks. Mark popped his head through Jaebum’s apartment door and it was empty. But Mark had this ominous feeling that he couldn’t shake off. He wondered if Jaebum was in the shower or one of his rooms and hadn’t noticed he left his door unlocked. Mark allowed himself inside calling out for Jaebum. “Jaebum? Hello? Jaebum? Y-you left your door unlocked,” Mark’s voice shrank to the end as he heard muffled noises coming from one of the rooms. Mark knew he shouldn’t evade Jaebum’s privacy but Mark’s worry grew and he slowly opened the door. That was his first mistake. 

 

Mark had found a woman tied up from the ceiling completely exposed. His shock grew as he noticed the woman had been blindfolded, with a black silk cloth, and gagged, with a red ball gag that glistened with her saliva. Mark fell to the ground as he looked at the figure more. The woman’s arms were tied back as she was hoisted up from the ceiling. Rope entranced around her body, accentuating her breasts the bind draped down to her pelvis. Her legs were tied together with the same rope that bound her body, Mark then heard a whirring sound that strengthened by second. The woman wore a small electric vibrator where the battery was taped to her right thigh. The woman pulled back her head as she came from the vibrator, her cum trickled down her leg and her nippled perked from stimulation. She moaned through the gag as she slowly bucked her hips up and down practically humping the air. The rope from the ceiling moved along with her movement which caused her to sway back and forth. Mark’s eyes grew in shock and his mouth fell to the ground. He denied that he was in Jaebum’s apartment and that this was all some misunderstanding. Mark panicked and closed the door then turned to the exit. Before Mark could reach it unscathed, Jaebum entered the room and Mark’s shock grew to even Jaebum. “J-jinyoung wanted to give you this, I’m sorry if I barged in!” Mark pushed the flashdrives to Jaebum’s hand and fled embarrassed by what he had seen. Before Jaebum could say anything Mark told him he was feeling under the weather and locked himself in his room. Images of the woman in Jaebum’s apartment came flashes back. Mark hid away to the deep crevices of his room, hoping Jaebum wouldn’t come knocking at his door.

 

* * *

 

 

Maybe he got a little too into it. 

 

Jaebum was in the middle of his session with his usual partner, Nayeon. She wanted to try some a little different, Nayeon never tried being hoisted up and Jaebum barely hung up his past partners up. He wasn’t against it so he agreed with his partner’s request.

 

They started their session with the usual kisses Nayeon placed on Jaebum to set the mood, she slowly teased him by carefully unbuttoning her blouse whilst on top of his lap. Jaebum let out a small growl to show his impatience. His partner laughed and kissed him again as she started to grind on his dick. “C’mon oppa, I know you like it,” She laughed in his ear.

 

“And you know I don’t like playing like that,” He pulled her long hair back and away from him, his anger slightly turned Nayeon more on as she grew a little wet in her panties. “Now hurry up and get undressed,” He hungrily said, lowering his voice to change the mood. Nayeon nodded her head as she complied with Jaebum’s demands. She quickly undressed in front of Jaebum. He watched the girl stripped down until she was completely exposed. She shivered from the cold wind and Jaebum gave no shit. “Get down on your knees,” Jaebum firmly ordered, he shocked the younger girl and she shivered in her place maybe it was because of the cold or because of Jaebum’s serious tone that shook her entire body. Nayeon stood still for a second as she hesitated from Jaebum’s orders. “Didn’t I say… To. Get. Down,” Jaebum growled as he repeated himself. Nayeon situated herself down to her knees then looked up to Jaebum’s brooding figure. He turned his back to the woman as he reached out to grab long red rope. 

 

He first tied the rope against her breasts carefully tightening each knot. His hands would glide over her body, controlling her as his body engulfed her. At first Jaebum would methodically and touch her as if she were a fragile then suddenly his power coveted her and she was malleable in his fingers. For every knot he tightened Nayeon would gasp. Jaebum then covered and gagged her face as she began moaning as Jaebum began binding her arms behind her back. As he finished tying her legs together, Nayeon squirmed on the ground as the rope slightly burned to her skin. Jaebum grabbed the long end of his rope from behind Nayeon and hoisted her up. He forgot to set up his ladder so he used a chair instead. He then tied the rope bind to a hook as he released her body fell forward. Nayeon’s heart almost burst but the rope was hung by her arms which caused her body to lean forward. She would swing in small circles as her feet would ever so slightly brush the wooden floor. 

 

Jaebum’s heavy breath covered the whole room, he looked over to his creation and traced the rope knots with his fingers. Nayeon would moan through her ball gag and Jaebum gave her a slight smirk. He swiftly held tight to the rope which made Nayeon’s body jerk. “I like it better when you’re like this Nayeon,” His voice lingered in her ears. His deep and heavy breaths against her body made her heart pound. “You’ve been a good girl, so do you want a little treat,” Of course the latter was not able to answer back but in reply her body would shiver by the sound of Jaebum seductive calls. Jaebum released the rope and allowed Nayeon to swing around. He went to one of his closets and grabbed a treat for his partner. He turned the device on to Nayeon’s ear and she heard it’s electric whirring sound. She could tell what it was and she pulled her head back with a pleasurable whimper. It was a virbrator. Jaebum handled the small pill like vibrator in her ears and took it away to her already sopping wet vagina. Jaebum quirked his eyebrows in interest as he reached out and insert a finger in. Nayeon continued to moan even when her mouth was muffled. Jaebum, pleased, added another finger and played with her a for bit. As soon as she came by his hands, he licked his wet fingers near her ears so she could hear how good her pussy tasted. Jaebum finally inserted the vibrator in her pussy before turning the thing on. He taped the batter to the side of her thigh and before her could turn it on he heard a small knock on his door. 

 

Jaebum groaned and turned on the device as if he pretended not to hear the knocks calling him by his front door. “Jaebum ah!” An old woman called him.  _ Fuck! _ Jaebum cursed, he knew it was the old lady down the hall that Jaebum kindly helped. He had promised her that if she ever needed help that Jaebum was one knock away. The old lady continued to knock and Jaebum gave into the lady. He knew she wasn’t gonna stop so he closed the door to his room with Nayeon and opened his door. Not showing how genuinely pissed he was at the old lady, he gave his fakest smile as he greeted her by the front door. “Jaebum ah! Are you busy?” The old asked kindly. Yeah he was busy, he thought. 

 

“No not at all. Is there anything I can help you with?” Jaebum forced himself to keep up his stupid smile.

 

“Well if you’re not busy, I was going to ask you to help carry some furniture coming up soon.”

 

“Oh, it’s no problem, I can help you,” Jaebum agreed, unknowingly leaving his door unlocked and unguarded. 

 

After helping the old lady, Jaebum almost forgot about Nayeon. As he reached his apartment door, he saw the door unlocked and opened. Did someone enter his apartment? He held his breath hoping no one went into his apartment and had discovered a naked woman tied in one of Jaebum’s rooms. Jaebum pushed open his entrance door and saw his worried true. He saw his neighbour Mark frazzled and anxiety filled his bones. Mark’s eyes lit up in surprise as he saw Jaebum standing right there. The older foreign man bumped into Jaebum handing Jaebum flashdrives. “J-jinyoung wanted to give you this, I’m sorry if I barged in!” Mark fled before Jaebum could properly react.

 

* * *

 

 

Mark was good at dodging things, he was in the dodgeball team in high school, he could dodge, he dodged spitballs, books, and fists that flew his way but Mark was definitely good at dodging people. He avoided every of his exes, enemies, his parents when they were mad at him. Mark was especially good at dodging his interactions with Jaebum despite being in such close perimeters. He would always wake up at least two hours before Jaebum would to avoid morning interaction such as talking by the verandas or even bumping into each other by the elevators. It was easy for work hours because Mark and Jaebum were from different departments so interactions were sparse during those times. But during lunch it was surprisingly easier than Mark would have anticipated all he had to do was to stay quiet at all times and avoid any eye contact with Jaebum if it occurred. When Jackson had approached Mark concerning if he had even like the guy, Mark would simply reply: “I’m always like that Jackson, it’s just that you and Jinyoung brood too much.” 

 

Jinyoung had even cornered him one time on his way to the bathroom to ask why Mark was so distant with Jaebum. “Is there something going on between you and Jaebum hyung? He freezes up whenever I say I’m gonna bring you along for drinks.” 

 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. He probably knows I feel awkward with him.”

 

“He told me you guys were neighbours. I figured you two would be closer than that…”

 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Mark brushed Jinyoung hand away from him and left him. Mark knew the younger wouldn’t let it go simply but the older was certain he could avoid Jaebum for at least ten months as he also continued to repress his memories in Jaebum’s apartment. 

 

Jackson invited Mark out for coffee one lazy Sunday and Mark had nothing to do so he accepted. As Mark carefully sneaked out Jackson texted Mark the cafe address and which booth he was in. When Mark reached the cafe he immediately went to the booth where Jackson was. “Hey Jacks, sorry I took a while, this place wasn’t on maps so I had to-” Mark froze in his seat as he saw Jaebum head perk out of his book and met eyes with the foreigner. “Well this must be a mistake-” Mark quickly stood up but Jaebum unwittingly grabbed Mark’s wrist for the elder to stay. 

 

“Stay.” 

 

Jaebum’s low voice rang in Mark’s head as his face began to blush and he was weak by his knees. Mark nervously sat back down, trying to avoid Jaebum’s gaze. “Did you order something already?” Jaebum broke the air between them. 

 

“Uh, uhm… N-not yet. I’m supposed to meet Jackson today…” Mark fiddled his thumbs anxiously. 

 

“I’m supposed to meet Jinyoung, I have a feeling we were duped by them…” Jaebum sounded annoyed. Before Mark offered to leave Jaebum cut him off. “It’s fine anyways, I wanted to talk you anyways,” Mark’s flushed face grew a shade dark as he felt Jaebum’s gaze deeply piercing his skin and causing Mark’s heart to beat faster. “I know you saw it. There’s no point in hiding it,” Jaebum’s serious voice melted like butter. It was so authoritative and Mark shrank in his seat. Yet, it was so smooth that calmed the elder’s pounding chest. “I’m not sure what to ask of you but, let’s just forget that ever happened and we’ll never talk about it-” 

 

“I want to try it,” Mark boldly said, cutting off Jaebum’s words. The younger’s eyes shook in confusion. He was not expecting a response.

 

“What?”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oof so tw: stepping

A perfect lazy Sunday afternoon, business wasn't bustling and the scent of coffee carried over the cafe. The cafe had a sparse amount of people who were most likely college students getting their usual coffee fix and friends catching up from a long break. The sound of the air conditioner took over the cafe noise and the music could barely be heard by the other customers. The booths were perfect, to study, to talk, and more importantly to hide.

 

“What?”

 

Jaebum blankly stared at Mark. The younger was utterly confused and a proper reaction was delayed. Jaebum had just been stumped speechless by the elder’s words and hope that he must’ve misheard.

 

“Jaebum, I want to-” Jaebum raised his hand to Mark before he could say it again.

 

“I heard you the first time, hyung. I don’t think you understand what I said.”

 

“No, I do! I-I…” Mark stuttered, he furrowed his eyebrows and pressed his lips as he thought of the proper words to say. “I want you to tie me up… too,” his words meekly came out almost inaudible but Jaebum heard every word. The younger continued to observe the older before he tried to say anything. “D-don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I’m into that. I’m just curious…”

 

“Mark,” Jaebum straightforwardly met Mark’s quivering eyes. “Do you want me to tie you up?” The older broke away from the younger’s intense gaze, he stopped and nodded yes. “Do you want me bind and hold you down as if you cannot fight back,” Jaebum leaned in closer to Mark. His voice vibrated in Mark’s ear as his words lingered in his ear. Mark shyly nodded again. “Do you want me to control over your body. Mark?” Jaebum bit on his words making a low growl after uttering the other’s name. Mark closed his eyes and pressed his lips and fervorously nodded back to Jaebum. The younger formed a smirk between his lips and scoffed at the embarrassed elder.  “Alright, hyung. I’ll take your offer. I’ll see you soon,” Jaebum stood up from his seat and slowly exited the booth. “I hope you don’t go back on your word. Hyung,” Jaebum said before exiting the cafe.

 

When Mark was left alone, the foreign man’s face turned to a deep red as his face burned in embarrassment. He buried his face in his hands as he cursed himself. _Why did I say that?!_ Mark furiously thought. His mind instantly went back to the day when he had saw what was going on in Jaebum’s apartment. He had definitely saw a tied up lady and was without a doubt shocked. But as he continued to stare at the woman’s binds he didn’t feel disgust or fright. He felt excited as he saw her binds. He had almost reached out to her and feel the knots and twists of the rope. He wondered how it felt and his heart began to pound with just the thought of being in such bounds. Mark swallowed his breath as he was in awe looking at her almost feeling jealous that Jaebum would tie her up as he wanted to know what it felt like as well. Mark shook himself back to reality. What the hell was he thinking. He mentally slapped himself as he shut the door. The moment he saw Jaebum at the front exit, Mark’s mind began to imagine how Jaebum would tie him up but escaped before doing anything stupider.

 

Mark had spent two weeks avoiding his neighbour, burying his true thoughts. He couldn't believe himself when he told Jaebum that he wanted to be tied up and he was even more disbelief when Jaebum said yes. “I hate myself,” Mark said aloud as he banged his head on the booth table. “ _Why are you such a fucking idiot,_ ” Mark cursed himself in english.

 

* * *

 

 

It was the day after and Mark was filled with worry. He hadn’t seen Jaebum after their “ _little talk”_ and Mark wanted to take back every-fucking-thing he said. He didn’t see his neighbour that morning and didn’t bump into him at the elevators. Mark was filled in anxiety that he couldn’t properly concentrate at his work. Jackson called his name a couple of time before Mark would answer properly. Mark looked up at his computer and Jackson was basically hollering for the elder’s attention. “Markie hyung! Maaaaaaark! a-Yo hyung?!” Jackson repeated over and over, finding different names and ways to call for Mark’s attention.

 

“Yes Jackson!” Mark looked worriedly back at his colleague.

 

“Finally you respond! I’ve shouting ‘Earth to Mark hyung’ for ages! You wanna eat lunch?” Mark looked at the time and saw it was already noon, the elder looked back to Jackson and saw he was putting his best puppy dog eyes. “ _Wunch wid mwe_?” He pouted cutely as he spoke in english. Mark gave a small laugh and agreed to Jackson’s daily offer.

 

They got to their usual table with Jinyoung and Jaebum still not yet at the table. Mark felt a little bit relieved but yet not so much as he was internally panicking if Jaebum showed up now with everyone around him. Mark sighed down to his food while Jackson began stuffing his face with food. Mark continued to stare at his food before picking up his utensils to eat. “Are you not hungry hyung?” Jackson asked with his mouth full.

 

“Oh. Yeah,” Mark picked up his chopsticks to chow down as Jackson watched his older friend take his first bite. Then Jackson’s attention turned as he waved to Jinyoung and Jaebum coming to their direction.

 

“Jinyoung ah! What took you guys so long?” Jackson interrogated with his mouth full. Jinyoung cringed in disgust at the Chinese man as sat beside him.

 

“Do I have to be punctual for lunch too? I have work Seun. I’m not like you who drops everything when the clock strikes twelve,” Jinyoung retorted back. Jaebum coughed to stop the two men from further arguing. Mark looked to his direction and saw his seat beside him was empty before Jaebum placed his food tray on the spot. Mark squirmed in his seat, moving slightly away from the younger. As Jaebum sat their shoulders brushed against each other and Mark looked to his side. Jaebum gave no notice and Mark shouldn't have either. Mark scooped a spoonful of rice, Jaebum silently placed a piece of beef on his spoon before Mark placed the food in his mouth. Jinyoung and Jackson stared at the two neighbours with eyes wide open in awe and shock.

 

“The beef is always good on Mondays,” Jaebum said before eating another piece. “You never tried it, right?” Mark shook his head to respond to the younger. “They grill the beef well every Monday. It’s good,” Jaebum smiled with his mouth full then continued to focus on his food. Jinyoung and Jackson were left speechless. Jinyoung opened his mouth to speak bit before he could say anything Jaebum looked up from his food to Jinyoung, almost taunting and grim which caused Jinyoung to shut his mouth. After a while in the silence, Jaebum stopped eating, “You don’t have my number, right hyung?” Jaebum pulled out his cellphone from his back pocket and pressed his contacts to add Mark as a new contact. Mark never realised that he and Jaebum never really exchanged contacts and only now it hit him.

 

“Ah. Right, we should,” Mark typed his number in Jaebum’s phone and saved it himself. Jackson showered the two with his smugest look, Jaebum groaned at his friend’s look then facepalmed himself.

 

“What’s this,” Jackson continued with his smug smile on his face.

 

“It’s nothing, Jackson. Also you duped us yesterday, what the fuck,” Jaebum pointed his chopsticks at Jinyoung and Jackson. Jinyoung avoided answering so he chewed his food as he signalled Jackson to explain themselves.

 

“Ah… We don’t know what you’re talking about?” Jackson awkwardly laughed.

 

“Whatever. It’s fine anyways,” Jaebum dropped the topic. Mark could see the sigh of relief from Jinyoung and Jackson which made the eldest laugh a bit. Mark also let a sigh of relief as Jaebum didn’t seem to bring up their last topic yesterday or didn’t seem the least bit awkward with him.

 

* * *

 

 

Mark was absorbed. He always was into his work and barely took breaks when he got into it. Jackson, being a busybody that he is, could never keep up with Mark and would often ask if he wanted to play hooky with him at Jinyoung’s department. Mark would always say no but that didn’t stop Jackson from asking him the next day.

 

Mark rubbed his eyes from the computer and allowed his whole body to stretch from all the hours working at his computer. Mark saw his phone screen flash a notification from a message he got a few minutes ago. Mark tapped notification to see the message from an unknown number.

 

_Hey._

 

_It’s Jaebum._

 

The screen light illuminated on Mark’s face as he read the messages. His heart almost stopped when he read the last message he had received from Jaebum.

 

_Were you serious about yesterday?_

 

Mark swallowed his breath and his fingers quivered as he typed, ‘ _Yes’_ back to Jaebum. A few seconds later Jaebum immediately sent him a reply.

 

_I’ll see you soon then._

 

Mark dropped his phone down to his lap. Mark looked to his surroundings, having some pent up paranoia that someone might’ve seen his messages. Seeing as most of his colleagues were too busy with work and Jackson off annoying Jinyoung, Mark checked his phone again, making sure the message said what it said.

 

_I’ll see you later then._

 

The message was it Mark read it to be. He felt his heart pound and anxiety filled his bones. Jaebum wanted him tonight. Mark placed his hand on his heart as he felt his thumping heart. Mark took a few breaths, deeply breathing in and exhaling slowly. But each time he thought of Jaebum, he lost his composure each time. Mark tried focusing back to his work but instead he had just waited for time to tick. As it was their call time, Jackson was Mark’s key to pack up as well, as his fellow foreigner always left when the clock struck five p.m. Before Mark could leave his boss called him over for Mark’s finance reports which, of course, Mark completely forgot to finish. The American sighed and dragged his feet to his desk to finish his work.

 

After awhile Mark was able to submit his report. Mark knew the commute was going to be hectic this time around as it was almost nearing eight p.m. Mark didn’t know if he was late or if Jaebum was getting impatient waiting for Mark. It was his stupid idea to get Jaebum to agree with him. He was frustrated with himself as he waited for the elevator to reach his floor. Every second he was wasting was every second he regretted ever dragging himself into Jaebum.

Tapping his toes in anticipation, the elevator doors dinged opened for him. Mark remembers his first day when he had met Jaebum at the elevators and how they commuted back home together. That was before Mark knew of Jaebum’s secret. Mark shook his head, trying to repress those memories, he was so stuck on thinking about Jaebum that his anxiety only grew. Mark took the bus home and he prayed that there would be traffic then immediately taking it back, praying there was no traffic. He was a conflicted man with conflicted emotions.

 

Mark faced Jaebum’s door with his heart up in his throat and he could feel his palms sweat. He gritted his teeth and shut his eyes, he knocked three times on Jaebum’s door. His neighbour’s door creaked open and Jaebum’s glooming presence greeted him. Mark was already shivering as he met with Jaebum’s dark expressions. “You’re late,” Jaebum growled under his breath before letting Mark in his apartment. Mark kept his head down, trying not to make contact with Jaebum, but he could feel his strong gaze watch him as he entered. “Do you like making me wait? Mark,” Jaebum pushed Mark into the same room Mark had saw the woman Jaebum tied up. Mark was silent. “I asked you a question,” His eyes were like daggers, it was a clear 360 to Jaebum’s lax and gentle demeanor Mark had grown accustomed to. He was harsh, he had no mercy and Mark was like putty in his hands.

 

“I… I had work to finish,” Mark meekly said.

 

“So?” Jaebum spat back, quirking his eyebrow up as if he cared for Mark’s reason. “You should say sorry for making me wait.”

 

“I’m… sorry…”

 

“Beg for forgiveness, get down on your knees and beg,” Jaebum coldly said. Mark did what Jaebum had told him and went on his knees, bowing down to Jaebum for forgiveness.

 

“I’m sorry, please forgive me,” Mark could feel Jaebum form a smirk as he saw the elder beg.

 

“Alright. I forgive. But I don’t like people who make me wait,” Jaebum said leaning on the wall in front of Mark. “Now, let’s cut to the chase. Undress,” Jaebum ordered. Mark felt a shock within his body as Jaebum’s words struck him. Mark flushed in arousal, he kinda liked it Jaebum demanded things and controlled him. Mark sat on his knees and began to slowly unbutton his dress shirt. He felt Jaebum’s gaze as he stripped himself. “Faster,” Jaebum snarled. Mark looked away and picked up the speed to take off his shirt. Mark struggled with his belt buckle when he heard Jaebum lowly growl after he stripped his shirt. His fair slim body glistened in the room light as his delicate fingers unhooked his belt. He slowly stood up just to remove his pants, still feeling Jaebum’s intense stare on him. Mark then took off his pants only leaving him in his boxer briefs that hugged his thin waist and ass nicely.

 

Mark tried to cover himself with his arms, Jaebum walked closer to Mark, the elder felt a little uncomfortable seeing the younger fully clothed which he was just in his underwear. “Take it off,” Mark looked up to him in shock but he knew that Jaebum wasn’t playing so he bit his bottom lip as he removed his underwear until he was completely naked in front of Jaebum. His blank expression made Mark shift in place. Jaebum’s broad body covered Mark’s slim body as he stepped forward making Mark move back. Mark’s bareback softly hit the wall and he was cornered by Jaebum. Mark slid down to the floor, whatever Jaebum did to him he made Mark weak to his knees. Jaebum kneeled down to move closer to Mark’s face. The nearer his face got Mark closed his eyes, not wanting to meet Jaebum’s face. Just centimeters apart, Mark could feel his breath on his mouth and Mark probably anticipated Jaebum to kiss him, yet nothing. Mark peeked his eyes open and Jaebum blew into his face which shocked the American. Jaebum pulled away and stood up to the closet beside Mark and Mark watched Jaebum’s back. Jaebum shut the closet and in his hand was rope. It was really happening. Jaebum nodded to Mark to come closer. Mark crawled to the middle of the room, to Jaebum. “Are you sure about this hyung,” Jaebum gently whispered to Mark’s.

 

“Y-yes!” Mark straightforwardly said, looking straight into Jaebum’s eyes for the first time. “I’m s-sure… Please,” Mark pushed his fists together for Jaebum to bind. Jaebum scoffed and placed his hands on the elder to relax.

 

“Alright,” Jaebum carefully wrapped a blindfold around Mark’s eyes, this made the elder a bit out of the loop as Jaebum tightly knotted the tie making sure Mark couldn’t peek. After Mark had been rendered sightless, he had became more sensitive to Jaebum’s touches.

 

Jaebum entwined Mark’s mouth with rope then twisted the back to knot the rope in his mouth. The rope continued to Mark’s arms tying his wrists together, when Mark pulled his wrists back his head would tilt back along with it. Mark felt the younger’s hands rough against Mark’s chest as he positioned his legs to spread apart. Jaebum laid the elder down but Mark squirmed as he adjusted his arms and head in a _comfortable_ position. Mark felt Jaebum bending his knee, Mark felt his foot brush against his ass and again wrapping each leg with rope. Jaebum tied the each leg closer to each other then tied his ankles together. The soles of Mark’s heels touched as his balls rested on the side of his feet. Mark’s hardening dick was pointing up to the ceiling as his ass touched the rope that tied his wrists together.

 

Mark’s breathing became heavier as each touch would make Mark more and more sensitive. He could feel his dick erect from tightness of the binds and Jaebum’s movements across his body. Mark was completely limp and could not move a single inch. He felt his dick twitch in anticipation, he could hear the creaks of Jaebum’s body as he stood up. Mark wonder where he was going as his blinded face searched for his presence. He finally felt Jaebum’s shadow cool over his body, his breath became heavier as he felt Jaebum’s strong gaze grow hungrier and hungrier.

 

Mark moaned back as he felt something touch his dick. His wrist pulled down and, from Jaebum’s bind, so did his head. Mark yelped back in pleasure as he felt pressure pushing down his balls, sliding up to his dick. His chest moved up as his whole body shuddered. Jaebum coldly began rolling his toes up and down Mark’s dick. He lightly pushed down on Mark’s cock, stepping on the elder’s dick. Each step caused Mark to struggle in his bind as Jaebum’s foot sensually touched him. Mark knew that it was so wrong to feel so good but Mark felt like he was on ecstasy.

 

The more Mark squirmed the more Jaebum felt his dick itch in his pants. He tried pulling himself back and focused on stepping on Mark. Jaebum watched as Mark pulled his head back and scream in pleasure even though he was muffled by the rope. Jaebum lightly traced to the tip of Mark’s dick with his foot. Mark had probably had too much and came. Mark’s cum spurted to his stomach, Jaebum’s foot felt the warm liquid between his toes and slimed on his sole. He slowly moved his foot away from Mark’s dick and stared at his limp body.

 

Mark’s body relaxed into the ropes after he had came. After a few minutes, Mark felt the bind loosen until he was finally free from the rope. Jaebum untied the blindfold and the bright light hit Mark’s face as he readjusted to the light, he sat up to the younger. He noticed rope burns on his wrists, legs and ankles, basically all the places Jaebum tied up. Jaebum handed back Mark’s clothes and they were in an awkward silence. What would you say to someone that just tied you up? Mark thought. “Thank you?” Mark immediately regretted what he said.

 

“For what?” Jaebum nonchalantly said as he continued to raveled up the ropes to put back in his Jaebum’s closet.

 

“I don’t know I kinda just said it…” Jaebum laughed. “But I guess thank you… for… this?”

 

“This?”

 

“I mean I asked you to do this with me and-”

 

“Do you want to do it again?” Jaebum asked before Mark could finish.

 

“Huh?”

 

“I can tell you do. That’s what you were ask me, right?”

 

“No, I-”

 

“Let’s be honest here hyung. Did you want to do it again?” Mark paused, he was caught off guard he didn’t know what to say. Mark looked back to Jaebum, his eyes shaking, he didn’t want to believe it to be true but Mark dropped his head in shame.

 

“Y-yes.”

 

* * *

 

 

Mark had felt more at ease, his performance was a better at work and was more relaxed for some reason. Mark hadn’t felt this at ease when he finally won a game of fortnite he had mercilessly ended Jae in. Mark saw a familiar pair of eye that peek out of his computer for the usual, _Friday Night Drinks with Jackson and Jinyoung_ he was always invited to but never really took up the offer. Mark was practically done with his assignments so he said, _why not_. Jackson jumped in joy and rang Jinyoung’s phone up as he screamed in his friend’s ear. Mark heard curse words from Jinyoung that he had never heard before and was a bit terrified as Jackson shrank in his seat as Jinyoung continued to scold him.

 

“Don’t you ever fucking scream in my ears again!” Jinyoung rambled as he took another shot of soju. Jinyoung had not let the topic go since Jackson and Mark picked him up from his department. They had taken at least three shots yet each time Jinyoung would fucking screech about Jackson yelling on the phone. “I could’ve been fucking deaf in my right ear thanks to you!”

 

“Jesus Christ! I get it! I won’t fucking do it again!” Jackson sipped his beer. They all went out on drinks in a nearby diner where they ate dinner and got wasted with alcohol. “Don’t have to keep repeating yourself!”

 

“Well! I have to so it can get through that thick skull of yours!” Jinyoung poked Jackson’s head, with more force each time. Mark watched as his friends yammer back and forth, wishing that Jaebum was here to stop them from fighting. Then it finally registered to Mark…

 

“Where is Jaebum,” Mark asked, tilting his head at the two bickering men. They stopped at their tracks and found their sangfroid selves.

 

“Jaebum’s always busy on Fridays,” Jinyoung simply said.

 

“Yeah, he has this thing every Friday… So we don’t bother asking him anymore,” Jackson chugged the bottle of beer as Mark wondered what Jaebum could’ve been up to. Mark suddenly remembered the woman. He had remembered he had witnessed her tied up on that certain Friday. Mark pouted to himself, Jaebum was surely with her. He had no doubts that he was and he felt like Jackson and Jinyoung knew.

 

“Is it because of that girl?”

 

“Girl?” Jackson held a surprised look on his face.

 

“Oh… Did you meet Nayeon?” Jinyoung quirked his eyebrow up.

 

“Wait you know her?” Mark held tightly to his beer bottle. What if they knew more, Mark thought. Of what they did…

 

“She’s kinda Jaebum hyung’s girlfriend… Hyung tells me they’re not dating but they’re definitely not ‘ _just friends,_ ’” Jinyoung air quoted.

 

“So you know what they do?” Mark quietly asks.

 

“What?! Why would I?! Mark hyung, I’m not gonna get into their sex life like that! They can do whatever they want in bed,” Jinyoung shuddered in disgust as he thought of his friend with his ‘ _girlfriend._ ’ Mark sighed in relief, they seemed like they weren’t aware of what Jaebum did and that took a weight of Mark’s chest.

 

“Markie hyung, as much as I would love to know the dirty details, I also don’t want to. Jaebum is kinda… y’know,” Jackson nudged Jinyoung’s shoulder. Mark leaned in closer. “He’s kinda vanilla,” Jackson snorted a huge laughter and Mark awkwardly laughed along. They surely did not know what Jaebum did on those Friday nights and Mark was 100% sure that what he did was not vanilla.

 

* * *

 

 

“Alright that’s fine with me. I’ll text you again. Next time don’t be late,” Jaebum closed his closet door and exited the room. Mark fell back to the ground, cringing himself to death.

 

“Mark, you fucking idiot!” He pressed his hands against his cheeks. Mark laxed on the floor still bare naked as his body shuddered in the cold ground, he sat up again with thoughts running his mind. He still felt each sensation of the ropes breaking into his skin and saliva that dribbled down his neck. Mark rubbed the rope burns gently, when he saw his bare dick he could still feel Jaebum’s foot pressing down his balls. Unconsciously, his dick began to erect as he reminisce their earlier activities. “Fuuuuck! Stop thinking about that bullshit!” Mark curled up on the floor, hugging his legs closer to his chest. He was a big idiot and he brought himself into this.

 

* * *

 

 

“Jinyoung you’re drunk!” Mark yelled as Jinyoung slinged his arms around Mark. The younger called for another round and Mark thanked the heavens they were in a private room but that didn’t mean they weren’t disturbing the customers. Jackson leaned in the corner, quiet and calm. That uneased the American as his foreign friend hiccuped another drink down his mouth. “Jackson, uh, buddy? You okay?” Mark carefully questioned the other drunk fellow.

 

“‘M fine Markiepooh,” Jackson slurred. “ _You worry too much! Let’s have another round. ON ME!”_ Jackson mixed his Mandarin and English in his drunken statement. Mark pushed away Jinyoung to stop Jackson from ordering another drink.

 

“Jackson! You’ve had enough!” Mark tried holding back the Chinese but he was much stronger than Mark. Jinyoung seeked for affection as he crawled to hug Mark’s slim waist as the elder was holding back Jackson.

 

“Hyuuuuung, you’re so pretty! You’re waist is so girly too! It feels so nice and you smell nice too,” Jinyoung purred, smelling Mark’s lower back. Mark felt a tremble crawl up his spine as he felt Jinyoung taking a whiff of him.

 

“Jinyoungie, please lemme go! Agh! I can’t handle you and Jackson!” Mark cried. He pushed the button for help, almost begging for someone to save him from these aggressive drunks. He was at the verge of tears from trying to control Jackson and Jinyoung.

 

“Oh geez, Jackson and Jinyoung got drunk again?!” A worker came into the room as he witnessed Mark’s struggle.

 

“PLEASE HELP ME!” The worker nodded and pulled Jinyoung away from Mark. Jinyoung seemed to calm down and quickly fell asleep as Jackson took a little while longer to sober up. “I’m so sorry about this!”

 

“It’s fine! It happens almost every week… We can handle it from here. We’ll just call up their DD and they’ll get home safely,” The worker laughed. Mark felt like his headache was never gonna end, of every Friday meant getting this drunk for Jinyoung and Jackson he might pass up next week’s offer. “You’re new, aren’t you? ‘cuz I’ve never seen your face around here,” The worker asked as Mark took out his card to pay for their bill.

 

“Oh, well I just met them like a month ago. I never knew they were this wild.”

 

“They are. They never get this intense though, last time they got this wasted was with that cranky man with the super broad shoulders,” The worker described what seem to be the perfect illustration of Jaebum, adding the monolid eyes the worker formed with his fingers.

 

“I heard he’s usually busy these days,” Mark listlessly said as he signed the receipt.

 

“Is that so? Well, here you go,” The worker ripped the bill and gave it to Mark. “And don’t worry about them,” The worker pointed back to the room where Jinyoung and Jackson were still in. Mark bit his lip and reluctantly left the diner. A tall young man came in and their shoulders’ crashed lightly to each other.

 

“Sorry,” Mark softly apologized.

 

“No, it’s alright,” The tall man said with a bright reassuring smile. “Gosh! I’m here! Where’s Jinyoung hyung and Jackson hyung!” The man turned away going back to his real matter of presence. Mark turned his back to the tall man who called for his two drunk friends’ names. The worker pointed to their private room and the tall man rushed to them. Mark watched as the man slung Jinyoung’s arm around his shoulders hoisting Mark’s drunk friend up.

 

“By the way, Jinyoung and Jackson came with a friend, oh! He’s still here!” The worker pointed to Mark and the tall man approached him as he dragged Jinyoung with him.

 

“Sorry you got dragged in by Jinyoung hyung and Jackson hyung… This is your first time with them, right? They can get pretty crazy…” The tall man humoured.

 

“D-do you need any help?” Mark offered as he awkwardly grabbed Jinyoung’s drunk arm to sling over his shoulders.

 

“Nah, it’s fine. I’m used to it already. Do you need a ride home? I can drop you off first before bringing these guys home.”

 

“I wouldn’t want to impose. I’m fine taking the bus home!”

 

“Ay, no way! You must be tired, c’mon lemme drive you!” Mark played with his fingers then shyly agreed to the tall man’s offer. He gave a bright smile and led him to his car. He dropped Jinyoung at the back and told Mark to watch him and make sure he didn’t puke as he re-entered the establishment to carry Jackson. As soon as Jinyoung and Jackson’s DD came out literally carrying Jackson at his back, he asked Mark to move Jinyoung aside so he could throw Jackson in. The tall man slammed the back door then politely opened the front passenger’s seat for Mark. As soon as they were all in the car, the tall man smiled to Mark. “Thanks for helping me, it’s always a pain lugging their drunk bodies in the car.”

 

“No problem, though I don’t think I was any much help. Thanks again for picking them up.”

 

“I always do this, it’s no big deal,” The man smiled again.

 

“Well then thanks for offering to drop me off, I think I missed the last bus anyways,” Mark soullessly laughed.

 

“Haha, no problem, address?” The man handed Mark his phone to input his home address. “Okay! It’s not far from here, and it’s on the way to Jackson’s place. That’s good,” The man placed the phone on a stand that allowed him to see the map.

 

The ride wasn’t long and it was silent. Mark wasn’t really a talker and the DD focused on driving, which is good, Mark thought. Mark watched the night lights pass him as they drove. He only thought of Jaebum and what he was probably doing. For some reason, Mark had his mind going back to Jaebum. Wondering… wondering if he was tying up another person. If he made them feel good. Like he did with Mark, though Mark would never admit it, he continued to wonder if he touched them ever so firmly yet so delicately that each touch was electric on their skin. Mark’s thoughts were interrupted by the robotic voice of the GPS, telling them that they arrived at their destination. Mark looked at his apartment building before exiting the car. He looked back to the tall man and thanked him once more for the ride. He looked back at his drunk friends as they slept soundly at the back of the car.

 

Mark stepped out of the car and the DD left him a few seconds later. “Oh,” Mark stopped. “I forgot to get his name,” he suddenly thought of Jinyoung and Jackson’s DD. Mark heavily stepped to the entrance of his apartment lobby as he spotted his neighbour right outside the foyer. Jaebum looked far ahead as if he watched someone leave. Did he just see someone off? Was it her? Did Jaebum send Nayeon off? Mark slowly went up to Jaebum and gave a small tap on the shoulder. “Hey,” Mark greeted.

 

“Oh. hey, you’re out here pretty late,” Jaebum shook himself out of a daze. “Were you out with someone?”

 

“Yeah, just with Jackson and Jinyoung,” Mark leaned beside Jaebum.

 

“So you watched them get shit-faced, huh?”

 

“Basically yeah.”

 

“That’s always fun.”

 

“Really? Then why don’t you join them then?”

 

“I’d love to but my liver can only take so much,” Jaebum jokingly placed his hands on his stomach. Mark laughed at Jaebum’s sarcastic comment and Jaebum joined in. “I was about to get something from the convenience store, you wanna come?” Jaebum tilted his head as he offered.

 

“Yeah sure,” Mark looked at the time at his phone, it was already a few minutes past midnight. Mark reasoned it was a Friday and accompanying Jaebum to the nearest Seven-Eleven was no crime, it wasn’t like Jaebum would tie him up in Seven-Eleven. Mark followed Jaebum and took an empty table outside the convenient store. Jaebum headed inside getting whatever he wanted as Mark sat on the unbearable plastic chairs the store offered. After a few minutes, Mark heard the chimes of the automatic doors open and Jaebum came out with a plastic bag at hand. He dropped in down the table and took out two beer cans for him and Mark.

 

“I wanted to have a drink; it’s lonely to have some by myself. And I know you just got back from a night of drinking but humour me,will ya,” Jaebum sat down, opening the beer can for himself. Mark grabbed the can and opened it. Its smell reminded Mark of the earlier events and his stomach churned in disgust. But Jaebum wanted Mark to drink with him. He knew Jaebum wasn’t forcing him to but the mere fact of pleasing Jaebum made Mark push himself to drink. Jaebum laughed at the elder as Mark chugged the can of beer. “I didn’t think you would do it. I actually bought two for myself, but I’m glad you had a drink with me tonight.”

 

“I didn’t want to drink you just offered so I thought it would be rude to decline…”

 

“I see,” Jaebum’s eyes turned serious and Mark bit his bottom lip as Jaebum’s gaze sent sudders down his body. “I wanna ask you something, Mark.”

 

“Y-yeah?”

 

“Do you like being tied up?”

 

“...”

 

“Mark?”

 

“I don’t know. I’m not really sure.”

 

“I think you are. You just don’t wanna admit it.”

 

“I’m not like into that, okay? I just told you I was curious?”

 

“But you want to do it again? Why?”

 

“I…”

 

“Why? Mark?” Jaebum asked again, narrowing his gaze at the older man.

 

“...”

 

“It’s fine you don’t have to answer me. It’s hard admitting stuff you don’t want to say,” Jaebum finished his beer can and placed his down the table. Mark continued to handle his can, as Jaebum watched the older’s small movements in silence. “‘I’ll see you soon,’” Mark looked up to Jaebum, afraid that he would have left him. “When I text you ‘I’ll see you soon,’ that means I’ll meet you in my apartment. Okay?” Mark nodded. “When things get uncomfortable just tell me to stop or just say ‘no,’ I’m not into that safeword bullshit. I’ll back off when you want me back off. This,” Jaebum looked straight into Mark’s eyes, “I. I promise, this will be safe and you will be safe, okay?” His voice soften and calmed Mark’s heart. His words made the American feel tingly inside as Jaebum promised to keep him safe.

 

“Okay.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: sex toys, masturbation, and suicide (but pls dont worry)

Mark was bent down and tied to his knees, his wrists bound by the rope that tied around his whole body. He was used to the sensation against his body but each time it was excited him. The feeling of being held down as his skin burned to the texture of the ropes. It was Mark’s new familiar; an oxymoron he felt that described the new ties he was bound to yet it was all the same knots and twists of the rope. As per usual, Jaebum tied a black satin blindfold to blind Mark in their sessions, increasing the intensity of Jaebum’s touch on Mark’s limp body. 

 

“Fuck,” Jaebum breathed. Mark felt like he was going crazy as he pulled in deeper and deeper. Mark licked Jaebum’s moist tip, feeling each bump and vein as he swallowed deeper. “Do you like it?” Jaebum cheekily asked. Mark simply hummed in agreement. Jaebum laughed. Mark slowly stopped and looked up to Jaebum’s direction, though not being able to see the younger, Mark felt Jaebum’s dominating presence always above the elder. “Hyung, why did you stop?” 

 

“What’s going on here?” 

 

“Hyung-” 

 

“Jaebum ah…” Mark pouted upwards. Jaebum sighed to the elder as he wrapped his arms around his head to untie the blindfold. The cloth featherly fell down to the ground as Mark’s eyes followed. Now Mark could see his hands planted on the floor and the bright red rope that tie Mark’s wrists together. His eyes slowly moved up to meet Jaebum’s but in his surprise, he didn’t see what he had thought he saw. Jaebum was completely clothed unlike Mark’s thoughts of his pants being down as he sucked his dick. In fact, in Jaebum’s hands were what Mark was really blowing. 

 

A dildo. It was a fake realistic looking dick that his brain tricked him into thinking that the rubbery veins of the fake dick were Jaebum’s. The younger had just watched Mark slobber himself on a fake dick, thinking it was Jaebum’s. Mark shunned his head down, too embarrassed to look Jaebum in the eyes. He had been humiliated in front of the same man that humiliated him as Mark knew that it was fucked up, it kinda turned him on. Mark’s dick twitch, perking a little higher as Mark grew harder. “Hyung,” Mark tilted his head towards the younger man. “Do you not like this?” This meaning the fake dick Jaebum been sporting. The elder it his lower lip and kneaded it against his teeth as he hesitated to answer.

 

“It’s… It’s not like I don’t like it,” Mark used waddled his knees to Jaebum’s thighs, as his arms and legs were rendered useless at the moment. “It’s just that I was hoping for the real thing,” Mark leaned his face on Jaebum’s left inner thigh. 

 

“You want the real thing, hyung?” Mark nodded. “You want me to cum in your mouth? Is that what you want, hyung?” Mark buried his face in for a second before turning his back to Jaebum and nodded again. “Does hyung want to be his younger’s cumslut?” Jaebum pulled on Mark’s bangs to uncover his fair complexion. Mark, again excitedly nodded against Jaebum’s palm. “Say it,” 

 

“I want to be Jaebum’s cumslut.”

 

“Again,” Jaebum growled.

 

“I wanna be your cumslut.”

 

“C’mon hyung, you can say it better,” Jaebum tugged harder on Mark’s hair as he pulled the elder’s face closer to his. 

 

“I wanna be Jaebummie’s cumslut.”

 

“Is that what hyung wants?”

 

“Yes! Hyung wants to be Jaebummie’s cumslut! I want your dick in my mouth please!” Mark stuck out his tongue ready for Jaebum’s dick, almost salivating for it. 

 

“Since you want it so much,” Jaebum adjust his seat and shoved Mark’s face right on his pants zipper. Mark could smell the real thing and it was intoxicating the closer he could feel Jaebum’s growing bulge on Mark’s face.

 

“Open it,” Mark whimpered for Jaebum to unzip his pants for the elder but Jaebum clicked his tongue at him. 

 

“I’m not gonna open it for hyung. Hyung has to get himself,” Jaebum’s back relaxed to the wall and crossed his arms to watch Mark suck him off. It could have been easier if Mark wasn’t restrained but alas this was all part of Jaebum’s fun. Mark stuffed his nose around as he felt the zipper chain against his nose. When Mark found pull tab of the zipper, he scooted his legs to move closer to Jaebum’s zipper. Mark bit tightly on the tab as he slid it down. Mark could now see Jaebum’s bulge at it was only a thin cloth away. Mark savoured the moment as he felt Jaebum’s half-hard dick pressing against his face. Mark bit the hem of the underwear and pulled down to unveil Jaebum’s dick. Now Mark could see it. “Hyung. We should stop before something might happen,” Jaebum stopped the elder from getting closer. “Let’s stop for now,” Jaebum pulled up his boxers and bent down to untie Mark from his binds. 

 

Before the elder could protest, he felt a sudden rush of emotions, Jaebum was right to stop him and their relationship wasn’t like that. It wasn’t blowjobs and kisses. It was nothing like that. It was complex, contractual, and intoxicating. Mark should’ve grateful that Jaebum stopped him from getting any further. Yet there was still the feeling of contempt and dissatisfaction lingering in his gut. 

 

Aftercare wasn’t in their agreement or well it wasn’t in Jaebum’s. He would immediately leave the room after their sessions as he waited for Mark to get dressed. Jaebum didn’t seem like the type to. He simply gave Mark his space and would sometimes offer a cup of coffee before he would leave. It wasn’t exciting or anything like that, it had never led them to sex or any other intimate shit that Mark wouldn’t mind doing with Jaebum. Of course, it was just Mark’s undeniable crush on the younger making every humiliating act, pose, and words that the younger made Mark say, bearable. Maybe that’s why Mark was weak for Jaebum, maybe it was his feelings towards the younger that made him into whatever kinky shit Jaebum put him in. Mark profusely denied it to himself that he was really into it, though his mind would disagree, his true feelings remained hidden.

 

“I’m really sorry about earlier,” Jaebum handed Mark a cup of coffee.

 

“It’s fine. I get it. We’re not like that. It was my fault really,” Mark traced along the top of mug as he eyed the heat coming from his coffee. 

 

“It wasn’t your fault-”

 

“How about we just don’t talk about it. I think it’ll just be much better if we don’t. So let’s just drop it, okay?” Jaebum nodded. Mark twitched a smile back to Jaebum, trying to reassure him he’s alright. The elder felt his heart at his throat, but he didn't dare to show it. 

 

* * *

 

 

Mark didn’t know how but Jinyoung and Jackson kept on with their usual Friday nights. Mark was already sick to his stomach the last time he joined them and was still kinda shitfaced on Monday. Yet, Jackson had looked completely fine as did Jinyoung and they had drank more that Mark. Probably it was because they were so used to it, Mark was surprised how well they planned when they get shitfaced. Already having a DD and a staff member to speed dial him up when they would get too drunk. “So how about it Markie hyung? Wanna go for round 2?” Jackson wiggled his eyebrows at the elder. It was lunch with everyone at the table. Jaebum and Jinyoung were preoccupied with their food so they paid no mind. 

 

“I don’t know yet, Jackson. Last time was too much for me. I think… I prefer drinking beer outside on the chairs of a convenience store,” Mark bashfully sipped his water as he looked towards Jaebum for a reaction. To Mark’s dismay, Jaebum was ass deep in his food to actually give a damn. 

 

“That sounds cool. Jinyoung we should definitely add that to our pub crawl this year!” Jackson playfully nudged Jinyoung beside him.

 

“You add it yourself asshole, I’m not doing that for you,” Jinyoung haughtily cursed back. 

 

“What’s a pub crawl?” Mark attentively asked his younger friends. 

 

“It’s this annual thing Jinyoung and I do, where we go to different places to drink. Last year we did it right after our accounting period to celebrate, we took a day off and started it early with a classic; chicken and beer by the Han river. Then headed down north to a wine tasting, Jinyoung had reserved for our gentlemanly tastes. After that, we drank scotch and whiskey down at this European bar I know. Then took shots down at the red light district clubs. Cocktails at the Intercontinental, because WE TREAT OURSELVES. Then ended the night at our usual dine at get wasted with soju!” Jackson leaned back to his seat as he reminisce such a legendary night. 

 

“Wow, you guys are either living it or  borderline heading towards the ER for alcohol poisoning…” Mark said in either awe or worry. Probably the latter. 

 

“Hey! We don’t usually get drunk! We usually take one to two bottles of soju. TOPS! We only let loose because you joined us,” Jackson defended.

 

“We always call for a DD because I don’t like driving under the influence. Even if I’m just tipsy, there’s nothing wrong with taking a few precautions,” Jinyoung neatly set his utensils down his tray as he explained himself to the eldest of the group. 

 

“We’re safe, we wear condoms while we drink too!” 

 

“That’s- That’s not how it works Jackson,” Mark tried holding back his laughter with his mouth.

 

“You never know what’s gonna happen through the night,” Jackson stood his ground. 

 

“Ok first of all, Jackson. Shut up. Mark hyung, Jackson’s an idiot you should be aware of this by now,” Jaebum stopped before Jackson could say something any more shit coming out of his mouth. 

 

“The point is- We’re safe Mark hyung. But we don’t wear condoms when we drink. That’s just… I don’t want to continue,” Jinyoung back shivered as he cringed. Mark snorted aloud, the meaningless conversations he had with his coworkers were what eased Mark’s heart especially around Jaebum. All the conversations he had with Jaebum were quite… lewd and some things even they regret saying without mentioning. It covered everything that wasn’t normal about Mark and Jaebum’s relationship. Yet, at the same time, Mark was confused. Even though Jaebum would act more lax and sometimes even goofy along Jinyoung and Jackson, Mark would sometimes think if that was just a facade. Or if the Jaebum behind the doors were even the real one. Mark couldn’t see which one was truly Jaebum. Or if they were both really him at all. Confusing it may seem, but directing most of Mark’s thoughts to Jaebum allowed him to ignore the lingering amounts of pleasure he had received from all his sessions with Jaebum. 

 

* * *

 

 

Mark had gotten off work earlier than usual so he decided to run some errands. He headed to the hardware store to buy more proper gardening tools then something caught his eyes. Rope. Vividly colored ropes that went across the aisle. It reminded him of Jaebum and how he would tie rope around Mark’s body. Mark had always been curious about the ropes. He had always thought they were ordinary ropes but they weren’t exactly doing something ordinary. It felt different.

 

Mark slowly approached the selves of ropes, feeling each braid and each fiber. Obviously the brown ropes were too itchy, the brightly colored ropes seemed safe and wasn’t scratchy but it just didn’t feel like the ropes Jaebum had. To Mark’s dismay, a friendly looking store worker approached him if he need their assistance. 

 

“Hello, sir! How can I help you today?” The worker smiled brightly to Mark, giving it their best welcoming attitude. 

 

“Uh. I was just looking for ropes.”

 

“Are you looking for anything in particular, sir?” They leaned closer to Mark’s comfort zone. 

 

“This may sound crazy but… do you have anything that like doesn't hurt the skin. Like for tying up?” The worker gasp at Mark and shifted his eyes to the sides, checking his surroundings before pitifully looking back at Mark. 

 

“Sir. Please. That’s not the right option. You have so much to live for,” The worker grabbed Mark’s hands then grabbed a piece of paper in their pockets. They quickly wrote on the paper and handed to Mark. “Please think this through. Call this number if you ever feel like that again!” The worker closed Mark’s hands around the paper before leaving Mark alone. 

 

“I’m not planning to kill myself!” Mark unraveled the paper given to him. It was the worker’s name and number as well as the number to a suicide hotline. Mark grumbled, he knew it was crazy and he knew it was sane to ask anyone for rope to tie up a person for BDSM. No matter how lightly Mark would put it. It just didn’t sound right! He quickly forgot about his gardening tools and did what any rational person did. Decided to never return to that hardware store again and shove his memory down the drain. God, he loved his psychoanalytic defense mechanisms. He had bottled up so many embarrassing events and emotions that he was practically a pro.

 

Of course, when suddenly triggered the memory he would scrunch up into a tiny ball and beat his brain until he had repressed it again. Like what Brandon Rogers had prolifically said,  _ I drink to forget but I was remember _ . Oh, how truer words were spoken. Mark crumpled up the worker’s number and spat.  _ Wonpil.  _ He cursed the worker’s name in his head before angrily throwing the paper on the sidewalk. He then proceeded to stomp on the said paper more before coming back to his moral senses to pick up the paper and shove it back to his pockets. He was angry but gave him no right to litter! Mother Nature deserves none of this bullshit. 

 

“Fuck,” Mark said under his breath. “Fuuuuuck,” He repeated. Mark continued to walk ahead only keeping in mind for a trash can to throw the paper. As he fiddled the paper in his pockets he realised how far a trash can was.  _ This is why people litter _ , Mark bitterly thought, still keeping his eyes out for a trash can. He had somehow taken a wrong turn and ended up somewhere he didn’t know. Though he still had not fully digested he was lost when he finally reached the end of the alley still with no trash can. Mark took his hand out of his pockets and patted the dust out of his hand. He had been fiddling with the dirty paper for so long that the grime had stuck to his hand. Suddenly, Mark noticed a mysterious door opened by his side, catching his attention. Mark was a sensible guy, he knew that meant only one thing, the RUN THE FUCK AWAY. But Mark also being a dumbass, thought to head inside as it strangely drew the man in. 

 

Mark slowly peeked inside and to his surprise it wasn't some creep’s escapade where Mark would most likely die from. By the looks of it Mark concluded it was a store of some sorts. As Mark fully entered the premises, he noted how empty the store was. The cashier booth looked empty but Mark headed right to the aisles to see what the store was actually selling. Upon closer inspection the store wasn’t normal. It wasn’t just some sketchy random general store as it seemed to be, it was more risqué. Much more risqué. Upon further inspection, it was a sex shop. The vibrators rowed by its length and sorted by its color. Different sex paraphernalia hung from left to right even on the walls. Mark wondered how he missed such a big detail like that since he entered the store. The sight made Mark shudder in place, he turned back to the exit but a clerk he hadn’t noticed before suddenly appear stopping him from escaping. 

 

“Uhm… Hi?” Mark awkwardly tried to move to the exit but the clerk was persistent in keeping him in. 

 

“Hello! Welcome to the Ars’ Family Sex Shop!” The clerk greeted. Mark’s mind puzzled, why was a sex shop a family business. Then Mark retracted his thought back and didn’t want to get into it. 

 

“Yeah, uh, thanks. But I was just about to leave,” Mark looked back to the exit. 

 

“What! No! You can’t leave!” The clerk stepped forward, making Mark step back. They entered further into the shop, which made Mark even more uncomfortable as they literally passed an aisle of dildos. “Please just browse around. We barely have any customers!” For a good reason! Mark exclaimed in his mind. 

 

“I would love but I have somewhere else to be, Uh-” 

 

“You’re an M. Aren’t you?” The clerk blurted out. 

 

“A what?!” 

 

“You’re a masochist right? You like taking it?” 

 

“T-taking what?”

 

“You like it when you’re being held down, being dominated, humiliated. Right?” The clerk raised his eyebrow in interest. “You seem like a guy who’s interested in that.” Mark was found in a fickle. He had read him completely he wanted to deny it but only he can lie to himself. 

 

“What do you want from me,” Mark narrowed his eyes from the clerk.

 

“I just want to show you around. You seem sexually frustrated enough to see what I have and I’m right so you wanna see what else I can reveal,” the clerk giggled. “I’m Youngjae, by the way. I own this place.” Mark’s eyes grew, did that mean that Youngjae’s family owned a sex shop? So many questions ran through Mark’s head, none of which he could fully comprehend so he went along with Youngjae. The owner happily showed him many of the different varying vibrators and dildos, that Mark never knew needed to have different varies. 

“This vibrator is specifically for anal, it can be both used for men and women’s pleasure and it comes in a discreet package that can be delivered or wrapped for your earliest convenience,” Youngjae explained yet another different model vibrator. He exclaimed that each one was different and for different purposes. Mark rolled his eyes as Youngjae continued to explain another vibrator. Mark leaned back and hit the shelf with his behind, then fell a strange looking vibrator which was shaped as a foot. Shocked, Mark jumped up and the foot fell on the ground. “Oh!” Youngjae exclaimed in glee, picking up the vibrator. 

 

“What is that?! And why is it shaped like a foot?!”

 

“This! This, sir is a foot vibrator! I got it from Japan, there’s a small stock left, that reminds me I should order some more,” Youngjae nodded as he carefully placed the foot vibrator back on display. 

 

“But why is it shaped like a foot?” Mark still perturbed by the oddly modelled vibrator. 

 

“It’s supposed to stimulate a person as if they were being stepped on by someone. It’s actually pretty popular,” Youngjae said still fixated on the aforementioned vibrator’s display. 

 

“Stimulate. Stepping?” Mark’s mind suddenly flashes back to the first time Jaebum had tied him up. He could feel Jaebum’s foot pressing down his dick, he could remember how it felt. How good it was. Mark mentally punched his brain as his thoughts sent shudders down his spine. Youngjae continued to blabber on and on about the vibrator but Mark wanted down the aisle to avoid the horrid thing. 

 

“This model comes in different sizes but this one looks more familiar to a- Hey! Wait I’m not done!” Youngjae chased after Mark. The two men reached to a more promiscuous aisle. Youngjae’s eyes sparked in enthusiasm as he saw the aisle of BDSM toys. Shelves were filled with different devices. Mark’s face grew in heat as he stared at each contraption. He couldn’t tear his eyes away, his palms began to sweat, and his throat dry. He swallowed his saliva as he gently touched the faux leather paddles and whips. He purred as he felt the soft satin inside the collars. Then Mark found it. In a small corner he had found bright red rope he was quite familiar with. As his fingertips glazed over the rope, he could feel the excitement growing inside him. Mark turned to his side as he felt Youngjae’s shocked expression on him. 

 

“Uh,” Mark tried to make out words.

 

“You… do know what’s that for?” Youngjae innocently tilted his head at Mark. 

 

“Bondage?” Mark quickly released the rope out of his hands. 

 

“Well you’re not wrong. It’s for Shibari. I’m surprised you don’t know but you look familiar with it?”

 

“Shi- What? Also not familiar with it. I don’t know what this is,” Mark awkwardly laughed.

 

“Uhuh. Well Shibari is the Japanese art of rope tying. It’s dangerous if you don’t know what you’re doing but you seem like the person who ties you up knows what they’re doing,” Youngjae looked at Mark, head to toe, inspecting the lanky man. “And if I’m correct, you had no idea what you got into, did you?”

 

“What are you saying?” 

 

“You look like you haven’t embraced the kink but you really like it. Right?” 

 

“No! I don’t!” Mark defended. 

 

“You can’t fool me! I saw how much you got off on the paddles! You like it, don’t you!” Youngjae pressed, almost cornering Mark. Saved by the chimes of the entrance, a tall slim man probably the same figure as Mark came into the shop.

 

“Yo boss! What’re ya doin’?” The man called out with a thick accent that sounded pretty foreign. 

 

“Bambam! You’re back,” Youngjae stepped away from Mark as he greeted the new person at the front. “How was delivery?”

 

“All done. Did you check online? Any new orders?” Bambam skipped to the cashier booth. 

 

“There was but look! Someone came in today! A physical real life customer!” Youngjae pulled on Mark’s arm. The slim man scanned Mark’s bulky bomber jacket and office suit and nonchalantly looked away. Even to what Mark inferred, Bambam dressed quite frivolously for a delivery boy. Mark thought it was a bit too much to deliver sex toys in skinny black pants in black leather pointed toe shoes and a low neckline satin top. Plus his many accessories that went along with his getup. Was he also a hooker, Mark thought.

 

“Boss, you shouldn’t be happy that a sexual freak is in the shop, for all we know he could be a pervert.” 

 

“I’m right here, you know?” Mark pointed out his current existence in the shop. 

 

“The customer’s right, Bambam. Now let’s get back to the vibrators, I think there’s this one model you will like-” Youngjae tugged on Mark’s jacket sleeve but he pulled back. Youngjae looked at Mark in confusion as they made it halfway to the front. 

 

“I really appreciate you showing me around; not really. But I think it’s best that I leave,” Mark retracted his hands away as Youngjae pouted as he released a small whimper.

 

“Aw! What? You can’t leave now,” Mark shook his head as he finally headed for the exit. “At least take a card!” Youngjae handed a sleek black business card where Mark immediately shoved deep into his pocket before he took his escape. Mark sighed as he briskly walked back to the main road, trying to get back to his course home. 

 

* * *

 

Mark finally made it back to his apartment complex, he inhaled the febreeze scent that waft throughout the lobby and he sneakily wiped his shoes on renaissance inspired carpet floor as he tried to catch the next elevator up. He relaxed into the mirrored walls of the elevator as he was finally alone and away from that shop. Before the doors closed a swift arm stopped the doors so that they could enter. Mark straighten his stature as he saw Jaebum enter the elevator. Mark stepped a few step close to a corner as Jaebum leaned back close to him. “Hyung, you’re out early?” Jaebum turned his head to Mark’s blushing ears. 

 

“Huh? Oh! I finished my all assignments early. So my boss said I could take the rest of the day off,” Mark looked down to his fiddling fingers. Jaebum’s eyes followed. 

 

“Ah, I see. What about Jackson?” 

 

“Not sure, but I guess he’s off on the regular time. How about you? You’re out pretty early too.”

 

“I’m usually off by this time. The graphics team usually have shorter hours,” Jaebum hummed as Mark nodded along. After a few moments of silence their short elevator ride came to an end. The elevator dinged to the seventh floor and slowly opened to their corridor. “Here’s our floor,” Jaebum smiled as he signalled Mark to get off first. Mark shyly bowed as a gesture of thanks as they walked alongside to their respective flats. “Well, I’ll see you,” Jaebum said turning his key in. Mark flinched in slight shock, thinking it was their keyword for their sessions.

 

“Uh like… soon?” Mark clarified, but Jaebum laughed. 

 

“No, as in tomorrow? At work?” Jaebum showed his beautiful smile again, revealing his teeth and crescent moon like eyes. 

 

“Y-yeah! I’ll see you tomorrow… too,” Mark felt like he had brought his hopes up too quickly and anticipated too much from Jaebum. The younger man unlocked his door first, leaving Mark fiddling with his key. As soon as Mark heard the door shut close, Mark then began to bang his head on the door. “ _ What were you hoping for Mark _ ,” He sighed to himself in english.

 

When Mark haggardly came into his apartment, he lazily threw off his shoes and slowly got laid on the floor, still in his full work attire. “I wish I could burn this day,” Mark laid on his cheek, pressing down on the cold hard floor. Everything was just peachy, a random hardware store clerk thought Mark was planning to commit suicide, he found a family sex shop and met the owner who looked to innocent to even be in such place, and to top it all off, he actually anticipated a session with Jaebum when he just said “ _ See you _ ,” to him. Mark rolled on to his back to blankly stare back at the ceiling. In his pockets, he felt his phone suddenly vibrate probably some texts from Jackson. As Mark reached out to check it, out fell a sleek business card with silver text. Instead of checking his phone, Mark sat up to inspect the card. It was the card to the sex shop, the owner gave to him. Mark huffed as he flipped over the card and shined more text at the back. Mark traced the embossed text with his finger, it was a URL. Mark opened his phone, ignoring all his notifications, and immediately typed the URL on Safari. As the screen loaded, Mark expected a badly formatted website flooded with different porn ads, but to his surprise, the website loaded a black unexpecting layout with perfectly organized tabs and the logo at the corner of the site. Mark was slightly impressed as he scrolled through the tabs. The screen suddenly loaded to a new page as Mark unknowingly pressed a tab. The screen loaded with toys that Mark vividly remembered at the shop then immediately closed his phone as it fully loaded. “ _ What am I doing _ ?” Mark bit his lip. “ _ You’re better than this Tuan, _ ” he told himself as he laid back down on the floor. “ _ You don’t need to look at it. ‘Cuz you’re better than that and you’re not into that kinda stuff. Right?”  _

 

Mark scrolled through the items, he clicked on toys he would like and waited for the new page to load. Mark saw the collar that caught his eye back at the store, the price was unimaginable but he couldn’t forget how it felt. The tight leather that could bound him down while the smooth satin caressed his skin. He imagined Jaebum pulling on its leash while he was wearing it. Mark squirmed from his pants as a tightness grew from below. Mark shamefully massaged his growing bulge through the fabric as he continued to scroll. 

 

Mark let put a low groan as his back began to shiver in pleasure. He, now, came across a recommended item under the collar which was cat ears and a butt plug tail. Mark’s eye lit up as he giggled, shamefully pressing on the item. Mark knew Jaebum loved cats and the thought of being treated as Jaebum’s pet made him harder. Jaebum always treated them kindly and would coo at them as they purred. He could do that too, Mark wanted Jaebum to be nice to him, call him pretty like his cats. “ _ Ah, Mark hyung is so pretty, _ ” rang in Mark’s head as he imagine Jaebum softly whispering to his ears, maybe he even pat his head like he was a good boy. His heart began to pound and his toes curled, trying to keep his growing erection in his pants. Though his hand was one step ahead of him and slowly unzipped his pants and continued to massaged his bulge through the underwear fabric.

 

“Fuck,” Mark cursed out as he saw bondage rope. Mark swallowed his saliva as he now reached out to take out his dick. He didn’t need to imagine it, he could hear Jaebum’s voice growling in his ear when Mark would dare to move while binding him. He could almost feel Jaebum’s hands holding down Mark’s body as an anchor while he binded. He could feel the rope that lightly burned his skin, it was tight enough to mark him but not tight enough to break his his skin. Mark never like admitting it but being tied down turned him on the most. He picked up the speed by pumping his dick faster as he masturbated to thoughts of Jaebum holding him down. Jaebum’s sweat that would drip down Mark’s body as he towered over the submissive man. It would always send Mark satisfying sensations as he heard Jaebum’s heavy sighs down his body. Mark released another high moan as his body jerked forward. He continued to pump faster with his back hunched to the side. He moaned as he remembered the feeling of Jaebum’s intense stare on him though Mark could never really see it, it excited him as he could hear his chest bang. His thoughts now filled with just Jaebum. Jaebum.  _ Jaebum. Jaebummie. His Jaebummie.  _ Mark came in his hand as he chanted Jaebum’s name in his head. 

 

“Shit.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so uh idk this was just a smutty chapter where mark is just like trying to get into his kink
> 
> there wasnt really much into it but it just a psychological background of how mark feels about certain things like how he thinks his kink with jaebum isnt normal and that he tries to deny it himself even though he cannot 
> 
> as well as how he feels towards jaebum and how he tries not to feel when hes in a regular scenario such as when theyre with jinyoung and jackson or when theyre alone on an elevator  
> just tryna show that mark is linking his relationship to their BDSM activities 
> 
> ALSO big note, at the start u can see that jaebum can get pretty intense but has kinda of a thing for distancing himself even though he wants to get super intimate 
> 
> AND a ton of foreshadowing if u wanna note stuff like that HAHAHAH
> 
> just wanted to note some of the psychological shit down if some might get confused yk shit like that :V


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: rough play, sex toys, masturbation, humping, handjobs, teeny bit of animal play (?)

Lunch was… inevitable. Mark had definitely NOT been avoiding Jaebum. By not, he meant he totally was. He had just felt so embarrassed since the other day he had just masturbated to the thought of Jaebum. Thoughts would run through his mind and excuses came in low, Jackson was finally able to wrangle the older American man to eat with them at their usual spot at the cafetorium. Jackson was blabbering on and on about what Helen did in the break room the other day and Mark listened as if it wasn’t the millionth time he told it to him. They spotted their table with Jaebum already there and Mark let a big ‘ _ Oh great, _ ’ under his breath. Mark pulled out a seat beside Jaebum, where he usually sat and tried to calm his mind before he plotted himself down. 

 

“Ah Markie hyung. I wanna sit beside Jaebum hyung,” Jackson interjected, Mark’s head was screaming in joy but the older man had to look rational about it.

 

“Okay. But why so suddenly?” Mark switched his tray position to the other chair across from Jaebum, the said man also quirked his head up at Jackson. 

 

“Uh. No reason!” Jackson smiled, there was something behind that cheeky grin but Mark didn’t have time for it so he just didn’t care. Mark noticed Jinyoung’s absence as he was usually with Jaebum. 

 

“Hey where’s Jinyoung?” Mark stared at the empty chair beside him. 

 

“Dunno. He told me he’s been busy the past couple of days,” Jaebum talked with his mouth still full of food. 

 

“He said he’s coming in a bit,” Jackson poked back in Mark’s line of vision. “I texted him before got down.” After awhile Jinyoung, the devil, appeared. Along with another person by his side. “Oh hey, Jinyoung! You came.” Jinyoung placed his tray down and grabbed another chair for his companion. 

 

“Hey. Oh yeah, I brought along Yugyeom. We still have some business to talk about,” Jinyoung pointed to a taller younger-looking man. Jinyoung’s colleague smiled and waved his hand at the group. “I don’t think you’ve met Mark hyung. He’s from Jackson’s department,” Jinyoung introduced, Mark shyly waved at Yugyeom. 

 

“Hehe,yeah. We’ve met before,” Yugyeom smiled widely at Mark.

 

“Really? I don’t think I reca- OH! You’re the DD! I can’t believe I forgot you! I’m Mark,” Mark kindly offered his hand and Yugyeom obliged as he happily shaked Mark’s hand. 

 

“Yup! Kim Yugyeom. I can’t believe I forgot to ask for your name. Good thing I remembered your pretty face,” Yugyeom flirted. Jackson gave a loud ‘ _ Ooh _ ’ while Jaebum raised his head in what may or may shock.

 

“HAH! Nice one, Yugyeom! Real smooth,” Jackson high fived Yugyeom, but Jinyoung glared at him to sit back down. 

 

“Do you flirt with everyone you meet Yugyeom?” Jaebum hissed at the male.

 

“Nope. Just the pretty ones! Right, Mark?” Yugyeom seated himself right beside Mark.

 

“Yugyeom, I think you need to know Mark hyung is older than you by seven years,” Jinyoung called out the younger.

 

“Age is just a number. It doesn’t matter to me,” Yugyeom winked at Mark, making the eldest feel a bit flustered in his place.

 

“Still should call him hyung,” Jaebum bitterly bit down his food. 

 

“Yes Jaebum hyung! Mark hyung!” Yugyeom cutely chanted and Mark was just enamored his the youngest calls. 

 

“Alright lover boy, let’s go over our materials,” Jinyoung pulled on Yugyeom’s ear, tearing him away from Mark. 

 

Mark had never felt great to be the eldest. Yugyeom had a certain charm that made Mark feel happy about himself, his childish smile and cheeky attitude was refreshing especially with his current company. Mark liked being loved. He definitely prefers it more than being bullied and pinned down by a certain someone. Mark, Jaebum and Jackson would sit and eat quietly as Jinyoung and Yugyeom discussed their business, the youngest couldn’t help but sneak glances at Mark. The American would smile and point back to Jinyoung. Their playful chemistry was known to everyone at the table and no one could deny how heart-wrenchingly affectionate, they were despite only meeting twice.

 

By the time had passed, Jinyoung’s phone alarm rang and he quickly checked his watch to double-check the time. “We should go Yugyeom. We have a meeting in ten,” Jinyoung hurriedly got up and pulled Yugyeom’s collar as the boy wouldn’t stop ogling at Mark’s idle profile. “I’ll text you guys later. And Jackson, don’t ignore my call,” Jinyoung gave out a ‘ _ I’m watching you’ _ gesture at Jackson before brisking out of the cafetorium.

 

“You’ve been ignoring calls from Jinyoung?” Mark looked at Jackson questioningly. 

 

“Ugh. It was only one time and I was watching porn at that time! What was I supposed to do?” Jackson excused.

 

“I don’t know? Pause it?” Jaebum sarcastically suggested. 

 

“But that’s so much work… Besides! I called him back. He’s just making it a big deal,” Jackson grumbled like a child. 

 

“Ah. But you didn’t answer him when HE called. So, in Park Jinyoung language that’s a pretty big deal,” Jaebum countered. Mark was quite honestly impressed with Jaebum’s close relationship with Jinyoung. It felt like one of the only normal things that Mark can cling onto without fully forgetting Jaebum’s other persona. Mark sat fiddling with his bottle whilst the other two men bickered like small children. 

 

“Fine! Let’s just change the subject. Markie hyung, Yugyeom was definitely checking you out,” Jackson snided an ugly snicker and Jaebum silently judged him in face. 

 

“He’s kinda cute, right?” Mark childishly blushed. 

 

“Woah! Mark hyung, I didn’t know you were into younger guys?” Jackson clamoured in delight.

 

“No. They’re not my type. Yugyeom was just acting all cute. I couldn’t help it, y’know?” Mark brushed off Jackson’s remarks, as he just wanted a reaction from the elder.

 

“You. Mark hyung. Is not into younger guys?” Jaebum interjected. 

 

“Uh. I mean. I don’t usually go for younger guys,” Mark panicked as he realised Jaebum was a younger guy that he also was seeing sexually as well. 

 

“You seem like the type to be into them,” Jaebum chided. 

 

“Nope! I prefer older men with stable jobs and their own house. That’s my type,” Mark began to sweat metaphorical bullets as Jaebum kept pressing him. 

 

“Yeah old men in their own retirement home. HEYYO-- ” Jackson teased along with Jaebum.

 

“Oh c’mon! You know that’s not what I meant. I just never went out with a younger guy, alright! Now quit it,” Mark confessed. 

 

“Woah wait seriously?! Then that would mean you date literal daddies,” Jackson assumed.

 

“What?! No!”

 

“Alright then which of your exes are not married and probably don’t have kids?” Jackson raised his eyebrow. 

 

“That’s easy- My ex from Milwaukee… wait no he’s married. My college senior- fuck, nevermind I went to his child’s christening. I used to date this profess- no he was married even when we were dating… But that’s not the point!” Mark quickly defended. “The point is I just never dated a younger before. And I’m looking to see anyone right now. My career is way more important than dating-” 

 

“But I bet hyung sleeps around a lot. He doesn’t date younger guys maybe he just plays around with them. Right, hyung,” Jaebum evilly grinned at Mark, sending the the elder in a utter disarray of feelings. Mark knew he was toying with him, he knew how much Jaebum liked to press his buttons and put him under his thumb. 

 

“Nah, Mark hyung doesn’t look like the type to indulge in hella kinky sexual fantasies,” Mark awkwardly laughed at Jackson’s retort. “LIKE BDSM,” Jackson exclaimed loudly, making other people turn their heads, Mark tried to cover his loud mouth. “Mark would neve-fffgh!” Mark finally shut the Chinese man up and dragging his ass out of the cafetorium while Jaebum laughs his ass off. 

 

As Mark and Jackson got back to their office, Mark’s phone vibrated in his pocket. Mark swiped his phone open, not bothering with the other notifications, the words on his screen reflected in his eyes. 

 

_ [Jaebum:] I’ll see you soon.  _

 

* * *

 

 

Mark held his breath as he watched the floor numbers go up to seven while riding the elevator to his apartment. Mark bit his lip as the elevator dinged open and he was now only a few steps to Jaebum’s apartment. Each time Jaebum would call him, Mark would have an internal conflict of whether or not he should just call it a quit. If he should just bail and never speak about it with Jaebum but inside he knew he couldn’t. He would always lie to himself that he was never excited to see his texts, maybe having a glimmer of hope that would always call for Mark. The elder man sighed as he faced the front door of his neighbour’s apartment. He pondered maybe a bit too long on whether he should knock or ring the doorbell. He opted for the first option and prayed that he wouldn’t answer so soon. After one, two, three, four knocks on his door, Jaebum welcomed him in only seconds later. 

 

“How was work?” Mark tried to take his mind off what was about to go down. 

 

“I don’t wanna talk about it. Just get in the room, you know the rest,” Jaebum messaged the back of his neck as he pointed his head towards the room. Mark silently obeyed Jaebum and headed towards the room. Mark clicked the door shut, almost tempted to lock it. Mark knelt down to the floor and started to undress himself. He slowly slipped off his thick padded jacket he usually wore during the windy days. Then he wriggled his blazer off as the wind breezed on Mark’s back, he felt his whole body jolt. He started unbuttoning his dress shirt when Jaebum had came in the room unnoticed. Mark unbuckled his belt and stood up to shimmy his pants off. When he turn to his stripped clothes, Jaebum watched him in silence, glaring down at the elder as he sat on the couch. Mark’s heart jumped for a second once he had saw the younger but quickly his heart began to bang loudly into his chest as he came closer to Jaebum. Mark was now just in his underwear when he placed his clothes beside Jaebum. The younger suddenly gripped on Mark’s wrist, to drag him down the floor. Mark was more aggressively pushed down to the ground as Jaebum strided past him to the closet where he kept all his  _ tools.  _

 

Mark rubbed his wrist as he watched Jaebum’s broad back face him. Mark wondered why Jaebum was suddenly so rough. He was never like this, Mark thought. Jaebum turned around, dropping the ropes he would use on Mark on the ground. He wrapped the silk blindfold around Mark’s eyes tighter than usual. Mark flinched at Jaebum’s sudden force. “Don’t touch that!” Jaebum spat just when Mark reached out his hands to adjust the blindfold. Jaebum quickly tied Mark’s arms in a bind, Mark winced at the tightness of the rope. It dug into Mark’s skin, maybe even breaking it. It wasn’t usually like this. Jaebum was, well he was kinder than this. Mark had felt so much anger from each knot and how he would grip Mark. He was rougher, meaner. Mark didn’t like it one bit. Jaebum would push down harder on Mark’s legs as he quivered. Jaebum forcefully opened the elder legs then tied it to a butterfly, spreading his legs wide. 

 

“It hurts Jaebum,” Mark whined. “Jaebum,” Mark cried out but he didn’t listen. Jaebum reached out for what Mark supposed was a handkerchief that gagged Mark from complaining anymore. But that didn’t stop Mark, his muffled cries tried to reach for Jaebum but it was no use. 

 

Mark’s whole body quaked as he felt a wet towel? Mark assumed. His heighten senses made him more sensitive to each touch when Mark felt the wetness glide through his bare chest again, he realised it was no wet towel but Jaebum’s tongue licking his body. Mark’s heart banged in excited as his groin itched it too. Mark’s muffled moans filled the room as Jaebum’s tongue painted across his body. Jaebum stopped by his collarbone, licking- no kissing. His tongue curled and spun, it drove Mark insane. The small kisses noises and suckling made Mark twitch in anticipation. Mark moaned more and more into the handkerchief as Jaebum sucked the fuck outta Mark’s neck. His supple lips showered over Mark’s body. All the euphoria made Mark almost there to cum, he felt a sharp pain by his neck. Jaebum had bit. He bit Mark so hard, that it tore a bit of skin off. Mark’s muffled scream was only music to Jaebum’s ear as he licked the bloodied parts away. He could almost feel his growl vibrate on chest as he lowered himself down to Mark’s nipple. He lapped on Mark’s chest, suckling his nipple in his mouth. Mark rubbed his dick on the fabric of his underwear as his bucked up his hips. He started sways his hips forward as Jaebum continued to suck on him. The more Jaebum sucked on Mark, the faster his hips swayed up to the air. The elder’s nipple perked up as shivered as the breeze hit his sensitive nipples as Jaebum lifted his mouth away. He bared teeth and once more bit into Mark’s chest over his nipple. He felt Jaebum’s teeth bare marks on his body. Mark arched his back as he came in his underwear like a horny teen after watching his first porno. Did he actually like this? 

 

Mark’s whole body became limp and heavy. The black covering his eyes became blurry and his eyelids were heavy. The ropes were slowly undone, blue and red circled Mark’s wrists. It was just close to breaking skin. Jaebum hissed at what he done. He just went too far.

 

When Mark regained consciousness, he was dressed and his wrists were mended and covered in bandages. Mark sat up, scratching his head as he looked around the empty room. Mark laid eyes on Jaebum’s broad back and scootched closer to him. “I’m sorry…” Mark didn’t almost hear him. Jaebum turned to face Mark, he didn’t wa t to look the elder in the eye. “I don’t know what got into me. I think, we should stop seeing each other. I’ll stop calling for you and we can just never talk about it,” Jaebum stood up before Mark could protest. He was left alone in the room, the silence horrored him. Mark couldn’t tell him how he felt. 

 

* * *

 

 

“Bam! You left a package,” Youngjae faux calmly told his employee on the phone. 

 

“What?! I’m already in the middle of my delivery. I can’t go back now! I’ll be late to my other deliveries!” Bambam huffed from speakerphone. Youngjae heard his navigation signal him to turn right during their call. It was far too late when Youngjae had found the package and Bambam wouldn’t be able to go back and pick it up. Their delivery schedule was packed and no delivery could be late. Youngjae pressed his lips to a thin line and furrowed his eyebrows. What the hell was he going to do. “Hyung? How about this, you take that package out for delivery. While I do the rest, problem solved,” Bambam suggested. 

 

“And close up shop?! What if a customer comes in?” Youngjae spluttered put his anxiety, he didn’t like the sound of Bambam’s wretched plan. 

 

“Hyung. Literally all of our buyers are online. No one would go so boldly to a sex shop and purchase anything. We are located in an alley corner! No one would stop and think, ‘I should check this out!’ The outside of the store looks like a place that stores dead bodies. There’s not gonna be any customers. What’s the problem anyways with delivering one package?”

 

“Uh… there’s no problem. Not one at all.”

 

“That’s great! So you can deliver the package?” 

 

“Uh… I don’t-” 

 

“Oof, I’m hanging up now, DELIVER THAT PACKAGE,” with no further words, Bambam, Youngjae’s subordinate, hung up on him. Youngjae knew he HAD to deliver the package or else, Bambam would scold him again. Him. His boss. Well he didn’t really have a problem with delivering the package, his only trouble was that he would either be delivering to a deranged pervert, or trip into an orgy and somehow be invited in, or someone else would receive the package and open it to reveal whatever kinky toy his consignee purchased. Or worse, he would get into some strange pornographic scenario that now he’s the pizza guy and now he has to fix someone’s sink for sex. Okay, maybe the some of the scenarios were a bit far fetched but Youngjae had extreme anxiety that one of those would come true, he surely hoped for the last one because that would be an anecdote. 

 

Youngjae grabbed the packaged and checked the delivery details on his phone as he prepared to head out. The car was out on delivery which meant that Youngjae had to commute. He gripped the package as close to him as possible as he didn’t want anyone stealing the parcel. His bulky messenger bag took up a lot of space on the train as he sat beside a small old lady and a curious little girl who stared at his box. “What’s inside?” She asked. 

 

“Things,” Youngjae kept it as vague as possible. 

 

“What kinda things?” 

 

“It’s uh, kinda like toys,” Youngjae sweat bullets as the little girl questioned further. 

 

“What kinda toy is it? Can I play with it?” The little girl asked, swinging her legs on the seat beside him. Youngjae was in a fickle as he tried to escape from the child’s query. 

 

“Honey, stop bothering the man,” The mother chimed in like an angel that came to save Youngjae from his distress. “I’m sorry about her,” The mother bowed apologetically to Youngjae.

 

“It’s alright,”  _ just a few more stops Youngjae,  _ he told himself. 

 

He finally got to the consignee’s address and prayed that he wasn’t home so he could make Bambam do a redelivery for him. He got up to the receptionist and waited for them to notice him. After a few minutes or so, Youngjae gave a small cough to catch the receptionist’s attention. “I’m sorry sir, what can I help you with?” 

 

“I’m here to deliver a package to apartment 7B-” Youngjae placed his hand over the delivery receipt as the receptionist eyed the parcel. 

 

“Ah, yes. He’s expecting a delivery today, he told me that you can go right up. Elevators are down the right,” The receptionist directed Youngjae to the elevators, Youngjae smiled to the receptionist and carried the package away. Why was he being expected?! Was this man waiting for Youngjae to deliver his  _ goods.  _ Oh god! His anxiety quickly took over him as he speed dialed Bambam’s phone. 

 

“BAM! I’m gonna die!” Youngjae shouted a violet whisper in Bambam’s ear. 

 

“What? What’s happening, why are you gonna die?” Youngjae heard Bambam shut the backdoor of their delivery truck. 

 

“Are you done with your deliveries yet?!” 

 

“I still have a couple, what’s up? Hyung? You’re not telling me why you’re gonna die?”

 

“Bam! The consignee, he’s expecting our delivery!”

 

“Yeah so?” 

 

“So! He’s a creep that probably waiting to get his hands on this stuff! And probably grab me in and to do some kinky stuff! Bam! This is why you should’ve gone!” Youngjae whined.

 

“What the hell. You’re perfectly fine with me getting hypothetically molested?!” 

 

“No…”

 

“Not cool. Why do you always suspect the worst outta people when you’re out on deliveries but when some pervert comes into the store you’re all over him!”

 

“That’s because he had the decency to come into the store and personally look at the items!” 

 

“That he will jack off to,” Bambam added. “What if this guy is just some sex toy nerd like you. What if he also ‘ _ appreciates the craftsmanship’ _ like you.” 

 

“I highly doubt that,” Youngjae huffed.

 

“How about you just deliver it to the consignee and if he turns out to be a creep and tries to do freaky things with you. Call me and I’ll call the cops for you. How does that sound?” 

 

“Urrgh… Fine. If I die-” 

 

“Goodbye!” Bambam hung up on his boss again.

 

Youngjae grumbled as he pressed the elevator buttons up. The mirrored walls of the elevator doesn’t help him one bit. He stares at his anxious faces as the elevator went up the the floors. Youngjae gulped as the doors dinged open to the seventh floor. He came his way to apartment 7B, it was only the door that stood in Youngjae’s way, all he needed to do was ring the doorbell. He inhaled and pushed the button quickly. “Delivery!” Youngjae called. He then heard shuffling sounds, probably the consignee getting up to answer the door. As the entrance slowly opened, Youngjae’s fears slowly faded away and surprise filled in his eyes. “You-”

 

* * *

 

 

Mark lied on his bed alone, disheveled and confused. Alone was self explanatory, disheveled because he had the whole Friday to himself so he didn’t bother getting up. His boss told him that he used all his overtime hours for the month that it accumulated to a few days off. Mark used one of his days to just stay in bed and sulk. He was confused due to yesterday’s events. After Jaebum treated him so roughly, he just called their whole thing off. Mark was somewhat relieved at first but the he had the underlying anxiety of what now and what’s next. Mark couldn’t even show his frustration because no one knew what he and Jaebum were doing behind the doors. It wasn’t something you would talk about so casually even if it was a friend. Even if Mark told others about his dilemma, they probably wouldn’t have a good response as they wouldn’t share the same sentiments as Mark. 

 

His phone rang in the midst of his thoughts and quickly picked up, not even checking the caller ID. “Hello?” 

 

“ _ This is an automated message from ARS _ -” Mark hung up the phone, not even giving a shit about the automated call. He had more important things to think about. Well- His phone rang again, Mark grumbled as he picked up his phone again. 

 

“This better not be another automated message-”

 

“ _ Mark! How are you sweetie?”  _ Mark’s mother practically screamed into her son’s ear. 

 

“ _ Mom? I wasn’t expecting a call from you?! What time is it there?”  _

 

_ “It’s just a bit over 3 am. I couldn’t sleep, I just thought of calling you. How are you?! I didn’t expect you to answer, I knew how busy you are.” _

 

_ “Everything’s been good… I got a day off at work so I’m free the whole day.” _

 

_ “Are you sure?”  _

 

_ “I’m fine, I’ve never been better,”  _ Mark smiled through the phone.

 

_ “Alright… If you say so.” _

 

_ “So what’s up?” _

 

_ “Oh! Yeah! Jae called me the other day and you were telling him how you missed your coffee machine and some of your other stuff.”  _

 

_ “Uh-huh…” _

 

_ “So Jae and I sent some of your stuff from home!” _

 

_ “Oh what?! Thanks, mom!” _

 

_ “I even got you some stuff your father bought at Costco. I thought you might like it, you told Jae you got into gardening so I sent some stuff there you might like. Jae told me that the package tracking said it would be delivered to you today!  Also your sisters says ‘Hi.’” _

 

_ “Really? I’ll tell reception then. And tell my beautiful lovely sister, I said ‘Hi’ back.”  _

 

_ “Alright… Mark.” _

 

_ “Yeah?” _

 

_ “I miss you.” _

 

_ “I miss you too, mom. I also miss dad and everyone back home.” _

 

_ “You know you could always come back.” _

 

_ “Not now mom, I’m still working.” _

 

_ “I know. I know. You were just never like this. Moving so suddenly. I’m just worried for you. You were always the safe one between your siblings.”  _ A sudden pang hit Mark on the chest as his mother said what they had always told him. 

 

_ He’s the safe one.  _

 

 _Out of the four, he’s the child that you_ _expect them to be._

 

_ He rarely takes risks.  _

 

Words cut deep into Mark’s head as it rang repeatedly. He took risks. He doesn’t want to be the safe one. He wants to be unexpected as his other siblings were. Then He came into his mind. Jaebum. He made Mark feel risky, his feelings were unexpected, and safe was not a proper adjective to describe what he felt, what he did, and what Jaebum did to him. 

 

“... _ So I told your aunt Catherine to- Mark! Are you listening?”  _

 

_ “Huh? Oh yeah? I just feel a little tired, I call you back again, bye mom. I love you.” _

 

_ “I love you too-”  _ Mark hung up and dropped his phone down on the bed as he stared blankly to the ceiling. Mark rolled onto his belly to his landline phone on his bedside table. He dialled for the receptionist to tell him he was expecting a delivery today. 

 

“Hey, yeah. I was just calling to tell you that I’m expecting a package today. Just tell them to come right up. If they look for apartment 7B, yeah. Yeah. Thanks,” It was a quick phone call and reception downstairs were pretty easy to talk to so Mark had no problem there. Now all he did was wait. He passed the time by doing nothing, just absorbed with all his thoughts of everything and nothing at the same time. He closed his eyes and allowed his mind to wander.

 

_ I think… we should stop seeing each other. _

 

No, Mark didn’t want that. He didn’t know what he really wanted from Jaebum but he was sure, this was the things he didn’t want. His wrists began to ache as he gently caressed the bandages wrapped around. Though it hurt physically the thought of being away from Jaebum like that, pained him more. “You should want this, Mark,” He  whispered to himself.  _ Jaebum hurt you…  _ He bruised Mark. He was rough and mean, nothing like what Jaebum promised. So why didn’t that sway him. 

 

The doorbell rang, destroying Mark’s train of thought. He fell out of bed and started messing around, trying to get up. He almost tripped a couple of times but reached the door unscathed. He slowly opened the door and wondered if it was the package his mom had sent. “You…” Somehow the voice was familiar to Mark and his mind ran a mile to figure out who it was. 

 

“No…” It was the eccentric sex shop owner, Mark met the other day. Mark quickly tried to shut the door but Youngjae’s foot had stepped in before he could really shut the door. “How did you find me?!” 

 

“First of all, OW! Stop pushing on the door, you’re hurting my foot! Second of all, you have a delivery!” Mark stopped suddenly. Delivery? He worked for the post? 

 

“Like from America?” 

 

“Yeah, imported all the way and shipped directly to you. Ugh, you’re hurting my foot,” Youngjae groaned. Mark was confused is to why the owner of a family owned sex shop is delivering packages from his mom. But he felt bad enough that he hurt the guy so allowed him to come inside as he gave him ice for his foot. Youngjae sat on Mark’s couch as the foreigner grabbed an ice packet for him. “Nice place,” Youngjae complimented. 

 

“Thanks, my company offered it when I came here,” Mark handed the ice to Youngjae. “So my package?” Youngjae nodded and passed the package and clipboard to sign as received. As Mark read the receipt it finally clicked to him. The receipt read  _ Fitness equipment. _ Which was odd because he was supposed to have a bigger package with more things. His coffee maker. Gardening tools. Stuff from home. Mark hastily opened the package, surprising Youngjae. It was a discreetly packaged so Mark didn’t know what it was at first but as he haphazardly unraveled it, to Youngjae’s dismay, he found a pair of cute cat ears and a butt plug disguised to look like a tail. He grumbled, he must’ve ordered it when he was at the site. He was so caught up in his own lust that he might’ve ordered the thing out of impulse. Mark threw the items at violently back into the box, with horror pasted on Youngjae’s face. 

 

“What did you do that for?!” 

 

“You said that my package is from America!”

 

“Yeah?! I got the latest shipment from the U.S.”

 

“I was expecting a different package from America. Not this! I’m not taking it!”

 

“What?! You can’t you haven’t even signed the received by form yet! Bambam’s gonna kill me! Then I have to refile for a refund and return fees,” Youngjae’s anxiety crept up on his as Mark pushed the package away from him. “You can’t! Please don’t! You should keep it! Wouldn’t your partner be super psyched to see a cute little cat such as yourself!” Youngjae resorted to enticing the man to keep the items. 

 

“No! Because I don’t have one. We stopped seeing each other, okay? So I’m not-” 

 

“Aw what? What happened?” Youngjae cut Mark’s sentence in half. Mark stopped in his place as he looked at Youngjae. Mark wasn’t always comfortable with strangers but Youngjae was different, at least. He was… aware of things. And he wasn’t one to judge himself, probably being an avid sex toy enthusiast by the way he talks about each of different model of vibrators with depth. Mark sat down, probably was a good idea.

 

“Well, uh he said that he’d gone too far. That we should stop seeing each other.”

 

“How did he go too far?” 

 

“He was rough and more aggressive than usual. He bit me like twice and I told him it hurts but he still didn’t listen.”

 

“I see. Did you want him to stop?” 

 

“Uh,” Mark paused. Did he want Jaebum to stop? He was rough, pushed him down, and bruised him more times than ever but did Mark want it to stop? In all honesty, he really didn’t. He wanted to keep going, maybe harder and rougher but he just had couldn’t tell Jaebum that. “No,” Mark flushed. His ears turned pink and refused to look at Youngjae. “I didn’t.” 

 

“Well uh, there you go. He didn’t really go that far. So there’s not a single reason why you guys shouldn’t see each other.”

 

“What am I gonna do? What I am supposed to say?!” 

 

Uh, I don’t think I should meddle in that. But Bambam always tells me what’s on his mind even if he knows, well I’m his boss and I like that he honest about it. But hey that’s just me, confrontation is the best way to figure things out! I-I’m just gonna see myself out. I’ll to the necessary stuff to refund your package,” Youngjae stood up to take the opened parcel. This was not gonna be a fun train ride back, Youngjae imagined. 

 

“Wait. I’ll sign the form,” Mark cringed as he stopped Youngjae from leaving. Mark thought about what Youngjae said to him and he was right. Even if Mark would feel fucking stupid for saying it. Youngjae had a point. “I feel bad so why not. It’s not like I’m gonna use it.”

 

“Oh but the glasslike silicone material is so easy for the ass. It even comes with free lube-

 

“Do you want me to sign the form?”

 

“Yes please,” Youngjae grinned as Mark signed the form. The smiling young man checked the signature to confirm it. “Thank you, Mr. Tuan, have a nice day!” Youngjae skipped out of the flat as he had successfully delivered the parcel. ‘ _ Without a hitch’  _  Youngjae told Bambam though he really did have a lot of complications mostly internal but still complications. 

 

Mark closed the door and grabbed the cat ears and tail back to his room and hid it in one of his bedside drawers. Mark scruffed his hair and rubbed his eyes. Though with the events with Youngjae were strange. It made Mark feel… better. Well than how he felt hours ago. All now he needed to do was talk to Jaebum and he had to do it tonight. 

 

Mark’s phone rang and picked it up after the fifth ring. Hm? Jackson was calling. 

 

“Hello?” 

 

“Yo! Markie hyung! Enjoying your day off? I can’t believe you ditched me like that. Anyways you on for drinks later? Same place, Jinyoung’s bringing Yugyeom so guess who they assigned as tonight’s DD?” 

 

“You?” 

 

“Yup. If I’m gonna be sober the whole night, I at least want you drunk. So you on?” 

 

“Fine. I’ll just take a shower and head on out. Tell Jinyoung drinks are on me,” Mark giggled as Jackson gasped loudly. 

 

“ _ What?! That is not fair. You treat for the drinks while I can’t even have a drop?! You’re cruel, _ ” Jackson hissed at the elder.

 

“Bye, I love you,” Mark said in the most platonic way possible. It was a brotherly love that only he and Jackson could share. Or because Jackson kept telling him to say it to the point Mark gave up and went along with it. 

 

“I love you too, hyung,” Jackson grumbled as he ended their call. Mark figured if he’s gonna confront Jaebum, he can’t do it sober.

 

* * *

 

 

Mark came to Jinyoung and Jackson’s usual Friday night but this time they were celebrating. Jinyoung and Yugyeom were praised for one of their articles they presented in front of some execs. So what better way to celebrate than to get drunk, Jackson, of course felt like he needed to drink the most after not seeing Mark for the whole day. 

 

“You’ve only know him for two months and he’s gone for one day! Stop acting like you’ve been apart for a decade!” Jinyoung complained.

 

“I DIDN’T KNOW WHO I WAS WITHOUT HIM! It’s like my whole life never began until I met Mark,” Jackson dramatised. But nonetheless majority won over Jackson and he was chosen to be tonight’s designated driver. To add to the flame, Mark had even promised to buy drinks for everyone, right in front of Jackson’s salad. 

 

Mark came in casual, a giant pink sweater that covered almost his hands as his fingertips stuck out cutely with his sweater paws. Paired with jeans that fitted too tight around his legs, it showed of how slim his legs were and how defined his calves were. It was actually the first time, Jackson and Jinyoung had ever seen Mark in casual clothing. They were still fitted into their suits as they watched Mark come in. Jinyoung was already cradling a warm glass of soju with Jackson beside him as the Chinese man held his metal cup close. “Hey, you guys already ordered?” Mark sat at the empty side of the table. 

 

“Yup. How was your day off? Jackson cried during lunch,” Jinyoung pointed at the sulking male.

 

“Why?” Mark looked at his friend with concern.

 

“He was just being a drama queen. He wanted to take a day off too but Fei told me off,” Jinyoung mischievously exposed Jackson. 

 

“Aw, that’s fine. If it makes you feel any better my day was pretty boring. Will it make you feel better if I said I missed you?” Mark leaned in closer to Jackson’s pouting face. 

 

“Yes,” He answered. 

 

“Well, I did miss you,” Mark snorted and scrunched up with nose like a bunny. 

 

“I told you, he’d miss me, Jinyoung! WE’RE LIKE THAT,” Jackson said, crossing his hands to fill in the spaces between his fingers to indicate how ‘ _ connected _ ’ they were. 

 

“Uhuh. Tell me more,” Jinyoung, uninterested, sipped on his glass of alcohol. Yugyeom came back into the table as he situated himself beside Mark. 

 

“Mark hyung, you’re here! Let me pour you a drink!” The youngest smiled and handed Mark a glass as he poured soju into his cup. Mark was happy to accept drank every time Yugyeom poured him a drink. 

 

At first it was Mark could handle the first five shots but his head rang like crazy. Then after a couple more shots of soju, maybe three or four more bottles Mark drank. He found himself feeling a bit. Unusual. He slurred his words and would sometimes respond in english when Jackson asked if he was alright. 

 

“I think Markie hyung had a bit too much, Yugyeom,” Yugyeom nodded an okay as he laid to the wall after drinking so much with Mark. Jackson watched as his older friend’s flushed face tear up. In confusion, Jackson pulled out tissue from the dispenser they had on every table and handed as much as there was to Mark. 

 

Mark’s mind was buzzing, after all those drinks he still one thing on his mind. “Jaebum ah,” his wept as he called for his neighbour. “Jaebum ahhhh-” He repeated, his lips quivering to a pout, Jackson was definitely seeing a new side of Mark. “Jaebummie-” 

 

“Jinyoung, why is Mark crying for Jaebum hyung? Did he do something?” Jackson elbowed his companion beside him. Jinyoung wasn’t exactly sober either but Jackson didn’t seem to notice very well. 

 

“He probably just wants to go home, Jaebum hyung is his neighbour remember?” Jinyoung hiccuped on his seat as he drowsily swayed side to side. “Markie hyung- Do you want Jaebummie hyung to pick you up?” He drunkenly yelled at Mark. 

 

“Mhm,” Mark nodded as tears fell across his face. 

 

“What are you waiting for you hot piece of ass?! Call Jaebum hyung,” Jinyoung grabbed Jackson’s collar and then gave a big goofy smile afterwards. 

 

“I’m just gonna ignore the fact you called me hot,” Jackson dialled Jaebum’s number on his phone, hoping he would pick up as soon as possible. To his luck, he answered within a few rings of his phone.

 

“Jackson.”

 

“Hyung! You gotta come over here!”

 

“I told you I’m not interested in your stupid Friday nights with Jinyoung. Celebrate all you want-”

 

“No! It’s just that, uh… Mark hyung keeps calling for you and I think he wants you to bring him home. Cuz your neighbours and all,” Jaebum paused in his thoughts as Jackson told him Mark was calling for him. 

 

“Why should I do-” Then Mark’s wails heard from the background called for him. 

 

“Jaebum ahhh,” Mark cried. 

 

“I’ll be there in a few,” Jaebum simply told Jackson and hung up just like that. 

 

* * *

 

“Mark hyung, your key,” Jaebum dragged Mark’s heavy body to his apartment door. 

When Jaebum came to pick up Mark, he was a mess. He was crying everywhere, his nose all read from wiping snot out with his sleeves and face stained with his tears. He saw Yugyeom at the corner, passed out and drunk, Jaebum condescendingly smirked at the younger. Jinyoung tugged his pant leg and was more feely than usual. But Jaebum pushed him as far as he could before he squatted down to carry Mark over him but Jackson felt bad and offered him a ride. Jackson said it was better if he drove them all home but sadly Jackson had to pay for everyone including drinks which Mark promised to pay for but he was too drunk to even get his card out of his wallet. 

 

Jaebum carried Mark over his shoulder and dragged him all the way to their apartment. It was already late night so not many people lingered at the lobby and the receptionist acted as if it wasn’t their first time that they saw a drunk man being dragged to the elevators. 

 

Looking for Mark’s keys were easier than Jaebum thought. He would feel up Mark’s pockets and felt the keys at his back pocket. Jaebum didn’t bother with the lights and navigated in the dark to Mark’s bedroom. He kicked open the door as Mark’s body weight became heavier on his back. Jaebum dropped Mark on his messy bed and grabbed more pillows to support his head. He exasperatedly gasped, he was tired from carrying Mark’s drunk ass and took a minute to blankly stare at the elder’s face. When Jaebum stood up, he felt a small tug on the hem of his jacket. Mark tightly held on to the younger’s jacket, pulling him down to sit on his bed.

 

“Jaebum ah,” Mark sat up and came closer to the younger. “Don’t leave,” He softly sniffled as his eyes began to tear up. “Jaebum ah, don’t leave me,” Jaebum sighed.

 

“Fine, I won’t. I’ll leave when you fall asleep,” Jaebum gently removed Mark’s hands off him. 

 

“That’s not what I meant. Jaebum ah, don’t leave me. I’ll be better, I won’t complain anymore. Just please don’t leave me,” Mark now held tighter to Jaebum’s jacket sleeves. 

 

“Mark, I told you that I would stop if ever I would hurt you. I don’t want you to force yourself,” Jaebum tried reassuring the elder. 

 

“No! You don’t understand! I only said it hurts, I didn’t say you should stop,” Mark shook his head and pulled Jaebum closer. “So don’t leave. I really liked it,” Mark brushed over Jaebum’s ear pulling his body to the younger’s. 

 

“How do I know you’re telling the truth?” Jaebum lowly breathed out, his voice sent shivers down Mark’s spine, it dripped of honey and milk. His voice was just too sweet yet it was dangerous. It lured Mark right into his control, but the elder didn’t mind. Not one bit.

 

“Do I have to show you?” Mark whined. 

 

“Mhm,” Jaebum hummed in his ears. Mark moaned as he started to rub his groin on top of one of Jaebum’s thigh. Pressing his growing boner closer and closer to Jaebum’s leg. Of course, he was getting off that Jaebum was there watching him as he imagined him, tying him up as he roughly strangled Mark’s hands in a bind.

 

“Jaebum harder, Tie me up tighter, treat me rougher. Take control, do everything harder,” Mark moaned. His pace began to speed up and humped Jaebum’s leg like a dog in heat. Mark whined as he unbuckled his pants to rub his bare dick on Jaebum’s leg. “Does Jaebummie understand now?” Mark’s precum strained the younger’s pants but the more Mark liked it like that. He swayed his hips harder, rubbing his dick on Jaebum’s thick thighs. 

 

“Yeah. I do,” Jaebum heavily breathed out. He felt his thigh getting wetter and wetter as Mark’s hard dick came on him but he still humped him like crazy.  “But I have to understand more. Can hyung do that for me?” Mark nodded and he quicken the pace, his ball brushed on Jaebum’s jeans and he quivered when it did. 

 

“What else can hyung do to make you understand?” 

 

“What can hyung do?” Jaebum’s words escaped his lips as Mark pushed back on his bed as he took off everything below him. His bare ass laid nicely on his mattress, he opened his legs to give Jaebum a better view as jerked himself off. 

 

“Hyung, thinks of you whenever he jerks off, Jaebum ah,” Mark smiled as he fondled his balls as he moaned out Jaebum’s name. “Then hyung gets off when he wants things for you to do to hyung,” He pumped his cock faster. 

 

“What things do you want me to do to you?” Jaebum’s gaze was dark but it turned Mark even more as he jerked harder. 

 

“Spank me.”

 

“What else?” 

 

“Dominate me,” Jaebum raised his eyebrows in delight. “Own me. Possess me. Tie me up. Hold me down. Make me your pet,” Mark’s adrenaline and alcohol pushed him to say everything he wanted that he denies himself. 

 

“You want to be my pet?” Jaebum sexily scoffed at Mark. All the elder could do was nod profusely and stopped for a moment to reach down to his bedside table drawers. Jaebum watched as Mark pulled out cat ears and a tail out of the drawers. Jaebum laughed, “Why on earth do you have that?!” Mark pouted at him.

 

“Because I was jealous of your cats. You pet them all the time and you never do that to me. I want to be your cat too,” Mark wore the cat ear headband and lifted his ass to insert his tail in his ass. It was more difficult that Mark though because his ass wasn’t stretched to shoot it in and maybe because he didn’t any lube. 

 

“Let me help my kitty,” Jaebum took the tail from Mark then rubbed the bulb onto Mark’s slimy dick. Mark moaned as Jaebum traced the plug all over his dick. Jaebum pressed the top of Mark’s tip with the plug, covering his cum all over for Jaebum to insert in Mark’s asshole. Jaebum circled his entrance with the plug, sending sensations through Mark’s body. Jaebum growled as pushed deeper into Mark. As it was in Jaebum gave a quick tug on the fuzzy tail, teasing Mark as his dick shuddered in pleasure. “Does kitty want me to jerk him off?” Jaebum’s fingers walked up from Mark’s balls to his shaft. Mark could only nod in response. “I want you to say it kitty,” Mark placed his hands near his face bunching up to a fist, showing off his delightfully cute sweater paws.

 

“Yes! Kitty wants Jaebummie to jerk me off!” Mark purred like a cat. 

 

“Say it nicely,” Jaebum smiled as he tapped the top of Mark’s twitching cock.  

 

“Please jerk kitty’s dirty dick off Jaebummie! I wanna cum in your hands!” With that Jaebum started off slow, making Mark feel his fingers ride up and down his dick. The pace came faster and faster. Mark pulled his head back as he moaned increasingly louder. “So good,” He managed out. “Jaebummie always knows how to make kitty feels so good,” Mark bucked his hips up as Jaebum continued to jerk him off. After a few more pumps, Jaebum popped Mark’s tail off, Mark came in a matter of seconds as he came on himself.

 

Jaebum’s hand was also covered in Mark’s cum and pushed it near Mark’s face. “Clean it,” he ordered. Mark looked at Jaebum’s beautiful hands covered in his cum. Mark licked Jaebum’s fingers clean of his cum. He swirled his tongue around, sucking it while keeping eye contact. “My kitty is so bold, isn’t he?” Mark melted.  _ My kitty.  _ He said. He was Jaebum’s. Jaebum petted his kitty as Mark purred, relaxing to his pillows. “You’ve had enough for today kitty. Go get some rest,” Jaebum gently continued as Mark’s eyes drooped shut. He then hummed Mark a lullaby that lulled him to sleep. 

 

* * *

 

 

Mark woke up up with his whole head hurting and his body shaking. What happened last night. Mark sniffled his morning cold away as he wiped his nose on his shirt. That’s when it hit him. Mark remembered getting drunk last night, but he was sure that he would have woken up with last night’s clothes but- oh. Oh right. Mark slapped himself as he recalled that he may or may not have masturbated in front of Jaebum. He fell back to his bed as he continued to hit himself. “ _ You dumbass, Mark, _ ” Alcohol always made him truthful and shameless, he just didn’t know how shameless he could get. Mark checked his phone and saw messages from everyone. He opened his phone and Jaebum’s messages were at the top.

 

_ [Jaebum:] If you’re awake, I took you home and changed you to your sleep clothes.  _

 

_ [Jaebum:] Also about last night. I get it. I won’t talk about it. But I still do wanna continue. Us.  _

 

_ [Jaebum:] And if you changed your mind, that’s cool.  _

 

_ [Jaebum:] I’ll see you soon?  _

 

Mark smiled and shot back a text to Jaebum.

 

_ [Mark:] Yeah. I’ll see you soon. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yES I MADE BAMBAM SAY OOF. oof
> 
> anyways thanks for all the hits and kudos pls send them my way also im like a super awkward noodle so idk how to like respond to the comments ??? BUT PLS KNOW I LOVE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM UWU 
> 
> i really appreciate it bc it motivates me uWU so hopefully i'll try?? nO i will respond to the comments and questions?????? if u have??? yeah stuff like that 
> 
> thanks as always


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm too tired to tag warn but like there's sex n shit 
> 
> !! pls read end notes after reading the chapter !!

Mark was nineteen. He was just an average kid from LA, taking his undergraduate’s degree cross country. He didn’t give a shit about anyone his age or his roommates and even parties. He was only really interested in getting his fucking bachelors’ and trying to retain his GPA; not to mention he was picking up a minor in Korean language because why the hell not? It wasn’t like he was already drowning in requirements. Mark sighed. Whatever looks good on a resume, he apathetically thought to himself. 

 

He leaned back on his desk chair then rubbed his tired eyes as he looked at the his clock; his roommate wasn’t back yet and it was already two in the morning. “The fuck, it’s a Tuesday,” Mark hypocritically cursed at his absent roommate; he would judge his roommate for staying out until 2 am but what made him better, that he was using his time productively? He scoffed at his thoughts as his eyes traced back to his desk. He eyed his high school graduation photo, he took after receiving his diploma after four years of teenage angst and hormonal drama, that he never really experienced. His picture showed a bright-eyed seventeen year old Mark alongside his mom, dad and his siblings. What simpler times, Mark thought. He was a good son who always to his elders and abided every rule, maybe no wonder he’s so fucking boring. He was on the other side on the fucking country, alone, but here he is walking on the yellow brick road. People would say Mark was a bore but he called it safe. 

 

His classes were all the same to him, a professor lecturing for almost two hours straight, half of the class not listening whilst the other half would just cram other requirements for their next class. Then there was Mark, sitting quietly at the fourth row, writing down points from the powerpoint as his classmates poked his side and asked if they could photocopy his notes because they were too lazy to do it themselves. Mark rolled his eyes but begrudgingly agreed. It was always like this, how they were so desperate for others to help them when they couldn’t help themselves. Mark bitterly thought about being selfish, he knew it would be less hassle for him but the need of being wanted, of him being the safehold, maybe he wanted that. As Mark jotted down his notes his seatmate pestered him, as he tried getting a peek of what Mark was writing down. 

 

“Dude, can I borrow your notes later?” His seatmate whispered. 

 

“Can we talk about this later, I’m trying to listen,” Mark calmly replied, keeping his voice low. 

 

“Alright then later let me copy your math homework, professor Higgins is gonna kill me if I don’t submit again,” his seatmate pulled on Mark’s sleeve as he was dutifully writing down his notes. 

 

“What?! You had all weekend to do it. I’m not letting you copy my homework again, Higgins is already onto me for letting you get my homework,” Mark pulled away but his seatmate pulled his arm again, restraining Mark from writing his notes. 

 

“What the fuck man, I only borrow notes and your homework. Don’t need to be fucking stingy about it! I invite you to all the cool parties and shit yet you’re still being such an ass,” Mark never even went to those dumb parties. As if their relationship was fucking symbiotic. 

 

“I’d rather not talk about this during fucking class hours, you—” 

 

“Mark! Is there’s something you’d like to discuss in front of the whole class?” His professor interrupted. 

 

“No, sir,” Mark replied almost inaudibly. 

 

“Then I’ll see you after class,” Great, just great. Mark thought. His economy professor, professor Stevens, called Mark out for talking in his class and told him to see him after class. Great, he scoffed, these assholes pester me for notes and now I’m the one in trouble. When professor Stevens dismissed the class, his classmates hurried to Mark’s notebook as they fought who would get to photocopy it first. “Fuck off, I got in trouble ‘cuz of you,” Mark hissed at his seatmate as he fought off the damn leeches, he would call classmates, and shoved his notebook in his backpack. “I’ll give them tomorrow, Stevens wants to talk to me.” Hissy complaints erupted and called Mark a prude because he wouldn’t share his damn notes. Mark ignored their ugly excuses of them badly failing the class and that they needed Mark’s notes, well if they needed it so much they could’ve made their own. 

 

He made his way down the stairs as his classmates slowly dispersed and exited the classroom. Mark quietly stood in front of his professor as he would fix all his necessary papers. Professor Stevens looked up and with a slight shock, he jumped back. “Jesus christ! Mark, you scared me. Say something will you… You’re gonna give me a heart attack,” Mark didn’t say anything. “Mark, about earlier—” 

 

“I think you should stop calling me by my name,” Mark interjected. “You barely remember anyone’s names in class but you remember the name of the class nobody,” Mark’s eyes wandered the floor to his professor’s laxed stance, he observed every small movement of his professor but never keeping eye contact. 

 

“You’re not a nobody to me, Mark,” His professor stepped closer to Mark. Unfazed, Mark didn’t step back, instead his professor cupped Mark’s cheek and made him face towards his dearing professor. “So I’ll forget today’s debacle and we can move past it. You know, Mark it’s really unlike you to be talking in class,” His professor heartlessly laughed. Of course he wasn’t. Mark was the fucking punching bag and had to be limp and bend at everyone’s convenience because that was the ‘safe’ thing to do. Maybe that’s why his classmates could easily go to him and get whatever requirements they want him to do. Maybe that’s why his professor didn’t mind fucking him for the benefit that Mark wouldn’t squawk at the board of education. “Are you free later?” His professor broke Mark’s constant train of thoughts. 

 

“Yeah.”

 

* * *

 

Mark didn’t seem like the type to be sleeping around with his professor, neither was he the type to even think about it. Mark had a greater conscious than that but how he came to professor Stevens was still confusing to him. It wasn’t that he was too old or ugly. He had his charm and Mark never minded the gap between their ages. It was confusing to Mark because he was quiet and did nothing but study. It really just happened.

 

One day, he caught his professor lounging at his own office, Mark wanted to inquire on one of his lessons and one thing came to another they kissed. Mark, of course, didn’t think about furthering the relationship but after their incident professor Stevens asked him to stay, his perspective changed. “Mark, I know it’s wrong to think about your student in such a way but, I felt something. Surely you do too…” His teacher softly reached out for Mark’s hand then gently caressed the back of the younger’s hand. 

 

Mark glanced back to his professor and back to his hand. In Mark’s mind, there was one thing that ran to his mind. That it was too dangerous. It was too risky. Mark liked his one-way road, no humps, no signs and no turns but the thought of being with his teacher, excited him. It was different, his heart began to race as his mind started to clear. He wanted something to deter his dull life, something that could put him on the edge. The young boy bit his lower lip as he gazed deeply into his professor’s hand on his. “You…” His professor perked up, he awaited for what Mark had to say. “You won’t tell anyone,” Mark shyly lifted his face to meet with his professor’s. 

 

“No! Of course not!” His professor held Mark’s other hand that pulled him closer to each other. 

 

“Do you like me?” Mark asked. 

 

“Of course, I like you. Do you like me too?” His teacher cheekily asked. 

 

“Yeah…” 

 

* * *

 

They had sex. Mark was an adult, he could handle it and professor Stevens wanted a whole lot of it. Their first time was a bit awkward albeit at the time Mark had little to no experience but Stevens was gentle enough. Then it became more frequent almost every after class, Stevens would stop Mark and invite him to his office. Mark had made sure that everything would be done by the time Stevens would invite him to his office. Or least, made sure that nothing bothered him before seeing his teacher. In all honesty, other professors would never question his presence as to why he would frequently visit that specific teacher. In their minds, he looked like an average studious kid who wanted to ask about his teacher’s lectures. Which was better for them; no one suspected a thing. 

 

“Oh, you’re here already?” Stevens didn’t look surprised. Mark didn’t reply but he bashfully looked at his teacher, awaiting their usual arrangement. 

 

Once the door was closed, the soundproof office became their sanctuary. Mark’s professor explored Mark’s body, slowly undressing him as he showered his body with kisses. The younger’s mind raged with wild thoughts and his lust consumed his movements. The thoughts of someone catching them, aroused Mark. He wanted more. He wanted more danger, more risk, more of everything he wasn’t getting. His subliminal mind clawing out his true desires of letting loose, experiencing what others don’t want of him. “Tell me what you want, baby,” his professor seduced Mark into dirty talking. 

 

“I want you,” Mark shivered out as his teacher’s cock shoved into his ass. 

 

“You want me? You want your teacher fuck you so hard in the ass?” Mark moaned but shook his head. 

 

“I want more, more. I want you to own me. Tell me I belong to you. I want you hold me down and fuck me so hard. I want bruises. I want you to hurt me and fucking degrade me!” Mark started riding his teacher’s cock harder than he was thrusting. Mark was never talkative but he said things that he could never say normally. He was safe, he acted safe but he wanted more than just safe. He wanted the excitement more than he actually thought and Stevens accepted it. Well, Mark thought he did. 

 

* * *

 

This is how Mark ended it. This is how Mark is so fucking afraid of his thoughts about liking being tied up, being dominated, and fucking anything that wasn’t normal in a sexual relationship. 

 

Mark was off campus when he found out. Stevens was married. Stevens has a child. Stevens was a fucking fraud. Stevens was using Mark. Mark found himself in a dumb hipster cafe as he found an ever so familiar figure. His professor was sitting far across the cafe probably with a friend. Mark felt like he had to say hi so he slowly approached his teacher, quiet as ever to surprise his secret lover. 

 

“Greg,” Stevens’ first name, “you’re fucking a student? C’mon man, what about your wife?” That was the first bomb. 

 

“What she doesn’t know, like she gives a shit anyways,” Stevens scoffed. What an ass, Mark thought.

 

“Yeah, and your kid?” Then hit the second bomb. 

 

“I mean, yeah we have a kid but he’s different you know,” Stevens rubbed the back of his neck as he was pushed into a corner, metaphorically speaking. Mark felt his heart skip a beat, he thought that maybe Stevens would defend him.

 

“Different? You’re sleeping with a student!” His friend notso quietly whispered. 

 

“He doesn’t talk a lot and he won’t say shit to anyone, but he is kinda freaky…” Mark’s ears perked up as he furrowed his brows. What? “At first, I thought virgins would just shut up and take it but he’s kinda fucking crazy! He asks me to choke him or like do freaky shit. There was this one he insisted on giving me a blowjob when my supervisor suddenly came to visit! I just want to have sex, I don’t need all that trouble,” that was the third and biggest bomb dropped on him. 

 

“Greg, you’re fucking a psychopath, that shit is crazy…” 

 

“Right, it’s weird! But he is good taking it in the ass, he’s just more than I expected,” Stevens laughed. Weird. Psychotic. The fuck was Mark thinking? The more Mark thought about the more he thought Stevens was right. Maybe it was a little weird, maybe he shouldn’t even want those things. Sexually dominated, the fuck, he was a freak for thinking it would turn anyone on. 

 

They met for the last time, after the end of the semester, and Mark told him it was over. Of course, Stevens didn’t like the sound of that. No more quiet kid, who sat by the fourth row. No more quiet kid, that his professor would see diligently jotting down his notes but most importantly; no more quiet kid, who he could fuck almost every after class. 

 

“I don’t think we should keep this up. It was fun while it lasted,” Mark tried to say as heartlessly as he could. 

 

“What? You’re ending it just like that?” Stevens’ tone was surely pissed off. 

 

“I am.”

 

“Mark, baby. I thought you liked me? I thought we had something?” Stevens tried to lure Mark back in with his sugar coated lies that seduced the then innocent Mark. 

 

“Yeah, well… I thought you weren’t married and had a fucking kid. So things came up along the way,” Mark snapped. 

 

“You found out?” His professor drew back. 

 

“How long were you gonna keep it from me? I didn’t sign up to be the convenient fuck, you’re disgusting,” Mark spat, he turned away but then Stevens took hold of him and violently pulled him closer. 

 

“I’m disgusting?! You’re the one at fault too! You knew it was wrong but you kept insisting on this!” Mark struggled out of his grasp and hated how he spoke. Stevens drew the blame back to Mark and played the victim. Mark didn’t want their relationship in the first place. 

 

“Stop it! If the board finds out what you’re doing with a student, you’d be in big trouble!” Mark shook Stevens’ grip and blurted some shit that really pissed off his professor. 

 

“Don’t think you’d get off easy too! You’d also be in trouble and everyone will know that you’re just as disgusting as me!” Mark stopped, Mark knew the consequences of his actions. Yes, there would be major damages to his academic reputation and he would get suspended at best if not expulsion but what really stopped Mark there was he was disgusting. Not even that he was compared as lowly as that Stevens scum. That Mark was just as worst as him. He was tricked into a sexual relationship with his professor and he’s just as disgusting as Stevens. Mark glared up with a glint of anger with what Stevens had said. “You heard me! Imagine going up to the board of education and tell them what you do with me. You would have to tell them every single detail from how I touched you and what you said to me during sex,” Mark paused. “Your gross little kinks like choking, how you begged me to bruise you, dominate you? I gotta say you’re into some pretty fucked up shit.” 

 

Mark realised where ass of a teacher was going with this. He backed Mark to the wall as he threatened to exploit his kinks, Mark felt ashamed. At that moment, he felt stupid, he felt for the first time in his life that at part of him was dangerous. That it wasn’t something that “functioned” as Mark. He fell to his knees as the room spun around him. He just wanted to feel like he wasn’t living like he had. He just wanted to feel things that he shouldn’t want to feel. 

 

“You won’t say shit about me! Don’t you dare make it about me!” Mark pushed his teacher away as he headed straight for the door. Mark didn’t hear from him again. Mark didn’t bother to tell the school board anything. Though he didn’t Mark felt like he should’ve. To give justice to Stevens’ wife and child he had been cheating. Or at least get rid of the guy that had seduced another student into his embrace. Mark had realised something at that day, he should never give in to what wasn’t part of himself. That what he wanted sexually was just a passing phase. His desires were… not Mark; he was safe, cautious and dull.

 

* * *

 

Mark slowly opened his eyes, his throat dry and his head boggled from his night’s rest. His rubbed his eyes of the rheum that builded up during his sleep, he twisted his sides as he allowed his spine to pop. He checked the time and couldn’t believe he slept throughout most of the day. Well that’s what he gets for binge-watching The Office on Netflix. He shrugged it off because what else was he supposed to do during the weekend. 

 

Mark was twenty-nine. He was an average man from LA, working his ass of in Korea. He didn’t give a shit about anyone his age, his colleagues and even after work parties. He was only interested in getting a fucking raise or least a promotion for working at the same company for almost seven years; he thought why not use that Korean language minor for something. It wasn’t like he was using it for anything else. Mark sighed. Whatever brings in the paycheck, he heartlessly joked to himself. 

 

It had been ten years, yet Mark had the need to hold back what he truly felt about things. It wasn’t just about what he wanted in sex but it became everything. His ideals of himself held him back to reaching further. Mark laughed at himself. His thoughts erupted, he believed himself to never be so reckless, to never want what he wanted with his old professor but most importantly Jaebeom. 

 

_ “Why are you like this, Mark?”  _ Mark curled himself together, tightly hugged his legs as he rested his face on his knees. “ _ Why couldn’t be something less intense than BDSM, why do you like being sexually dominated Mark, _ ” He cursed. “ _ Why couldn’t it be like blowjobs, or lay down and stay quiet until they fucked your ass?! _ ” Mark fussed up his hair in frustration.  _ “God, Mark, why are you a freak…”  _ Mark checked the time again as if the day had just gone by after ten minutes. 

 

Then he thought of Jaebeom. How his hands traced against Mark’s body, how he only gave Mark what he wanted. How he wanted so much more. Mark embraced himself tighter, he couldn’t live like this. He couldn’t handle his brain rattling on and on about how he was too fucking sick of him giving into his desires. He had to end it. 

 

He spaced out for a while and didn’t realize his body carried him off the bed and out of his room. Mark sought his way out the door, his mind clicked back when he apartment door locked shut. Mark forgot about his key and tried looking for his spare that he hid. When it wasn’t at his usual spot, he stared at his neighbour’s front door and remembered the balcony that was practically conjoined to his. Mark bit his lip as he contemplated whether or not he should plus he didn’t feel like going down to reception in an oversized shirt and raglike shorts. Mark slowly knocked on Jaebeom’s door. 

 

Jaebeom casually opened the door, unexpecting of who his visitor was. Mark awkwardly stood by the door as he rehearsed he’d say to greet his neighbour. To Mark’s surprise, of course, he was taken aback by Jaebeom’s formal attire which struck curiosity in him. “Hyung?” Jaebeom raised his eyebrow in question as he eyed Mark’s ratty clothes. 

 

“O-oh! Are you going somewhere?” Mark referred to the younger’s clean cut clothes. 

 

“No. I just got back from something. I haven’t changed back yet. Do you need something?” Jaebeom tried to keep eye contact with the elder but alas Mark shunned his head down to avoid the younger’s intoxicating gaze. 

 

“Uhm… I…” Mark faltered.

 

“Do you want to come inside?” Mark suddenly looked up to Jaebeom, he slowly started to grow red as he nodded embarrassedly. Jaebeom gave a weak smile and ushered the elder into his apartment. “I bought some fresh strawberries earlier, do you want some?” Jaebeom kindly offered his guest. Mark shook his head. “Hyung,” Jaebeom called the older man out of his sudden daze. 

 

“Balcony…” Mark almost whispered.

 

“Balcony?” 

 

“I locked myself out… And, I can’t find my spare key so I thought I could climb over your balcony to my own,” Mark shyly said. Jaebeom paused for a split second before bursting out with laughter. Mark pouted as he furiously blushed red of embarrassment. “H-hey! That’s not funny!” 

 

“Alright, alright. I’m sorry,” Jaebeom pretended to wipe away a tear. “I just didn’t really expect that,” Jaebeom leaned forward on his kitchen counter as he eyed the strawberries. Mark watched as Jaebeom picked up a strawberry and bite sweetly into the berry. Mark gazed upon Jaebeom’s strawberry stained lips as the younger suckled on the berry’s juices. His heart began to pound with the change of the sudden mood and quickly broke. “I was actually expecting you’d say something else,” Jaebeom’s voices melodically swung into Mark’s burning ears.

 

“L-like?” Mark knew deep inside what Jaebeom meant but pressed forward to inquisite the younger. 

 

“It doesn’t matter now,” Jaebeom said, he took another bite into another strawberry and savoured its sweetly sour juices. 

 

Mark narrowed his eyes as his mind began to boggle. His head started throbbing with thoughts shaming his desires as if they came out of nowhere. Mark sighed, he had to end this.

 

“You know, I’ve been thinking lately…” Mark began.

 

“Oh?” 

 

“What if we stop this,” Mark hesitated.

 

“If that’s what you want. Alright,” Jaebeom casually complied. Mark sneered back at him, somewhat shocked by his answer. “Do you want to end it already?” Mark was silent. Didn’t he want to? Of course, he had to. But he didn’t want to. Jaebeom sighed. “Why do you always do this?” Mark looked up at Jaebeom, who leaned closer across him. “Seriously, what do you want? If you don’t wanna keep it up, it’s fine for me—” 

 

“That’s not what I mean!” Mark suddenly said. “I want to end it,” Jaebum quirked his head to the side and looked at Mark with confusion puzzling his eyes. “I want to stop everything. Everyday my mind tells me how disgusting I am for doing t-things with you! And I want it to stop because I like it so much, and I’m too afraid to admit it! If the only times I get to say what I want are when I’m drunk then I’d be a fucking alcoholic!” Mark stopped and bit his lip and shunned his head down. There was a long silence that killed Mark as every second passed. Mark slowly looked up to meet Jaebum’s cool gaze. With no hesitation, Jaebeom reached out and pulled Mark into a deep kiss. Jaebeom’s hands ran along Mark’s hair, then traced down messaging his nape as they shared a deep long kiss. “I want you,” Mark said under his breath. 

 

“Really? Then beg for me,” Jaebeom tightened his grip on Mark’s hair then yanked him away to see him cower. 

 

“Jaebeomie will you please sleep with me,” Mark bashfully called for the younger. 

 

“You don’t sound desperate,” Jaebeom pulled down on Mark’s hair causing the elder to whimper. “Like you meant it,” he coldly tested.

 

“Jaebeomie will you please fuck me?” Mark tried again but Jaebeom still wasn’t satisfied. 

 

“Is that how much you really want it?” Jaebeom’s chill voice was stern that made Mark’s heart pound and his voice shake. Mark gulped as he lips quivered from Jaebeom’s domineering commands. 

 

“Hyungie…” 

 

“Hm?”

 

“Hyungie wants Jaebeomie to fuck him please. Hyungie wants Jaebeomie to come in my ass. Please. Please! Please own me!” Mark jumped over the countertop and pressed forward to kiss Jaebeom after his shameless remark. Jaebeom accepted this and pulled deeper into their kiss, their tongues explored each other’s mouths as Mark moans vibrated during their kiss. “Jaebeom,” Mark whined. 

 

“Yeah,” Jaebeom took the signal and wrapped Mark’s legs around his waist. They made their way to Jaebeom’s bedroom. Jaebeom aggressively threw Mark on his bed as his lips hungrily latched themselves on the elder’s. Jaebeom pulled away and ran his hand up Mark’s loose oversize shirt; feeling his nipples, Mark squirmed under Jaebeom’s touch. The younger took out his hands to the neckline of Mark’s shirt before tearing by the middle. 

 

“Hey! That’s my shirt,” Mark pouted. 

 

“I’ll get you a new one, shut up,” Jaebeom growled and used the elder’s shirt as a tight knot for Mark’s wrists. Jaebeom pins Mark’s arms up as his fingers brushed against the headboard. Jaebeom continues running his hands along the elder’s body, freely touching his nipples as he nipped his exposed neck. Sucking deep on Mark’s collarbone, Jaebeom’s canines dug through the foreigner’s skin, breaking his fair skin. Mark shivered as his cock twitched in excitement. Yes. This is what he wants. 

 

“More,” Mark moaned. Jaebeom pulled away to unbutton his dress shirt; Mark whined ever so clingy and needy for Jaebeom. Mark knew that Jaebeom was teasing him by slowly unbuttoning his shirt, making Mark wait longer. The elder decided to play as well, from his position he slowly started to grind his ass close to Jaebeom’s groin. He wrapped his legs around the younger, he felt Jaebeom’s throbbing dick through his pants against his ass. If only his fucking shorts were off, Mark cursed. “More,” Mark said again, more clingy than he was. 

 

“More?” Mark felt Jaebeom’s firm hands on the elder’s garter or his shorts. “You want more?” Jaebeom swiftly shed off Mark’s shorts, once Mark’s ass hit Jaebeom’s cold bed sheets, he was violently flipped over then a sudden jolt hit throughout his whole body. Another smack consecutively hit his bare ass as Jaebeom spanked him which made his asscheeks blush up. “That’s not how you ask nicely,” Jaebeom coolly said. Jaebeom dragged the elder’s body closer then grabbed each of his asscheek apart. Jaebeom licked his finger before inserting it into Mark’s tight ass. Mark yelped as Jaebeom’s thick finger became two, he swirled his fingers up Mark’s ass and would stretch up. Jaebeom lowered his head onto Mark’s asshole then swirling his tongue by the entrance. Mark moaned as Jaebeom’s tongue stirred up the insides of Mark’s ass. 

 

“Jaebeomie please put your throbbing cock inside me,” Mark pathetically whimper but Jaebeom smirked as he was pleased with Mark’s tone. 

 

“Does hyungie want my cock?” Jaebeom leaned forward seductively whispering in Mark’s ear. Mark nodded. “Say it,” Jaebeom commanded.

 

“Hyungie wants Jaebeomie’s cock inside me please!” Jaebeom roughly pulled Mark’s hair. His body turn and Jaebeom’s cock greeted Mark’s mouth, pulling his hair down causing him to go deeper. 

 

“Hyungie didn’t say where?” Jaebeom smirked as he watched Mark suck his dick off. Mark ran his tongue against Jaebeom’s cock, he swirled and curled his tongue against the younger’s thick dick. He bobbed his head to feel him deeper down his throat. Mark popped his head out licked down the younger man’s shaft. 

 

“Cum already,” Jaebeom heartlessly laughed. He turned the American on his back then help up his legs. Jaebeom rubbed his cock by Mark’s asshole and smirked as he licked his lips. 

 

“If I’m gonna cum, I wanna cum in here,” Jaebeom rubbed his cock deeper by Mark’s entrance, he teased the elder as he slowly poked his hole almost ready to put it in. “Do you want me to cum in here?”

 

Mark nodded fervorously and with that, Jaebeom rammed his cock into Mark’s ass. His pace was immediately fast, Mark’s fuzzed as all he could think about was how good it felt. Mark suddenly felt two cold hands grasp his neck, Jaebeom then started pressing his weight down on Mark. Fuck, Jaebeom was choking him. Mark didn’t feel scared at all, when shivers ran down his spine, he could almost cum. His breaths became short but Jaebeom’s pace did not falter. “Yes, Yes! Yes!” Mark lustfully chanted as Jaebeom continued with asphyxiate him. Jaebeom’s hands lifted of Mark’s neck as he came untouched. 

 

After they had sex, Mark knew he had to leave. Before Mark could even get up from arms wrapped around his thin waist and pulled him closer. “Just stay, even for awhile,” Jaebeom told him. Mark relaxed his body down to the bed as his mind began to calm, his body started to sink and his eyes felt droopy. Mark finally felt… nice. 

 

The morning when he awoke, he was patched up nicely, covered the bruises from last night. He looked to the person beside him still fast asleep who had probably mended him while Mark was asleep. Mark leaned his forehead to meet his partner’s and felt Jaebeom’s cool skin against his. Mark shyly formed a smile and closed his eyes again. There was no ringing in his head that told him that what he had done was wrong. Everything had felt so right, it wasn’t going to be like that. 

 

* * *

 

Jackson stupidly grinned at Mark as he stared at the quiet older man. Mark didn’t ask why, nor did he care. Jinyoung was the only one that had the nerve to bring it up, well because Jackson looked annoying. Jinyoung gave Jackson a scorn look on his face as he judged his friend’s stupidity.

 

“Mark hyung, you’re glowing,” Jackson innocently said but surely that was an odd remark to suddenly bring up. 

 

“Thank you?” Mark didn’t really know to take it as a compliment or not but whatever. 

“You’re welcome, you just look… I’m sorry but you’re just glowing,” Jackson said again. 

 

“You’re dumb,” Jinyoung nonchalantly said. 

 

“Well I’m not talking to you!” Jackson pointed his finger at Jinyoung. 

 

“Well you’re being fucking creepy, just staring at Mark hyung and tell him that he’s glowing?!” 

 

“Shut up! Mark hyung is glowing with a bright aura around him while you got possessed by demonic darkness that’s why you’re not shining beautifully like— OW!” Mark calmly watched the other two men fight about trivial matters as his phone suddenly dinged through his friends’ bickering. 

 

It was a text, Mark’s heart pounded as he read the words that was too straightforward which made it kinda cute…  

 

Go on a date with me?

  
  


-Yugyeom.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wOw sex. okay so i finally updated bc fuck life honestly... i actually rewrote this chapter almost 4x mostly because i wasn't satisfied with how the progression goes or it bounced around quite a lot. like as much as i love a good subplot, it doesn't seem to go with a maundy theme so ye...
> 
> anyways back to the story!! i mainly focused on the perspective on why mark likes to act like EW NO TO BDSM which i bring up a lot of times bc:
> 
> 1\. denial is a strong human defense mechanism that brings up the rejection of a certain thing which ties into my 2nd point
> 
> 2\. repression. y'all know that repression is basically putting a memory deep into ur subconscious that when its brought up ur like CRINGE or DENIAL
> 
> 3\. psychologically speaking u don't just get over it... u treat it as u will with another problem that keeps biting u to the butt until there is a resolve since mark finds that there is no resolve to it and is subjected to admitting it at first then later on denying it gives NO resolve but to truly accept it
> 
> 4\. repetition is part of mark's past and present; i use repetition a lot in writing bc it shows parallelism to the past n current time and even from actions from one place to another... it even goes through a lot in mark's head bc he thinks the same things others think of him and how he believes he should be; almost like self-hypnosis 
> 
> 5\. sexual desires: i base most of my psychological themes from freud's psychoanalysis/psychosexual theory which he basically says that we all want sex; as mark has deep sexual desires but cannot act upon it due to i.e all the points mentioned above so the drive of not accepting his desires is what fuels him 
> 
> ALSO IM GONNA USE JAEBEOM FROM NOW ON BC UHHHHHHHHHHHHHH IDK I FEEL AWKWARD NOT USING SPELLING IT LIKE JAEBEOM EVEN THO IT LOOKS MORE APPEALING TO SPELL IT AS JAEBUM 
> 
> idk i might continue it thru the upcoming chapters; i might not... who knows? I DONT !
> 
> OOF also im hella excited for got7's new cb!! it will be THAT BITCH ok... THATS ALL FOR NOW; comment below for whatever if u have questions or idk and pls give some kudos ty!! i hoped u liked it HAHAH


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